Is this spelled correctly?

10-09-2008, 04:38 PM

It is just some stories for my heroes, just wondering if they are spelled correctly... More will come.

"|cffffcc00O|rnce an evil naga, Varash had quite a few experiences in his younger days. Now being at his 722th year in this world, he is extremely wise.

|cffffcc00A|r after he got abandoned at the Tomb of Sargaras, he figured more than just war and destruction; time. Time, being the most powerful manipulator of everything, he mastered the ability to be out of time.

|cffffcc00N|row, being old, he is weak in body, though he still masters the ability to use the time to overwhelm his enemies. A deadly opponent, even though he may seem easy to destroy."

10-09-2008, 04:43 PM	#2
Tide-Arc Ephemera	Your second tool tip thingo says "A after he got abandoned..."

10-09-2008, 08:56 PM	#3
Nuclear Arbitor	try word or fire fox, both have spell check. Google does too

10-09-2008, 10:26 PM

Kyrbi0

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vestras

Once an evil naga, Varash had quite a few experiences in his younger days. Now being at his 722th year in this world, he is extremely wise.

A after he got abandoned at the Tomb of Sargaras, he figured more than just war and destruction; time. Time, being the most powerful manipulator of everything, he mastered the ability to be out of time.

Now, being old, he is weak in body, though he still masters the ability to use the time to overwhelm his enemies. A deadly opponent, even though he may seem easy to destroy.

It does not seem like those paragraphs have any glaring spelling errors.. However, it is structured rather... weird. (If English isn't your first language, then never mind)

Might I suggest:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyrbi0

Once possessed of more malevolent tendencies, Varash the [insert class name] has somewhat softened with age. Now in his seventh century, his keen intellect has grown profoundly.

The collapse of the Well of Eternity found Varash trapped in the forgotten Tomb of Sargeras, transformed and alone. Over the centuries, he grew accustomed to his serpentine form and began to study the artifacts in the Tomb, noting their agelessness. Through some incomprehensible method, he began to learn and master the art of manipulating time itself.

At his advanced age, the flesh is weak yet the mind is willing and strong. Despite his apparent frailty, he wields the raw forces of time to overwhelm his enemies, ceasing their very existence with a wave of the hand.

10-09-2008, 11:31 PM	#5
holyadvocate	yeahh.... your sentances dont flow properly, there is far better structure and word choice available spelling is fine

10-10-2008, 12:10 AM	#6
Rising_Dusk	Kyrbio's replacement story for yours is far superior than the original. The only point I disagree with in his rendition is the remark about "softening with age," suggesting that he's less malicious, which may not be the intent.

10-10-2008, 02:35 AM

Kyrbi0

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rising_Dusk

Kyrbio's replacement story for yours is far superior than the original. The only point I disagree with in his rendition is the remark about "softening with age," suggesting that he's less malicious, which may not be the intent.

"Great suc-cess!"

~~~

Ironically, so did I; but I couldn't think of a proper replacement. :/

--EDIT--

Ooh, wait, I got it... Switch some words around:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyrbi0

Once possessed of more violent tendencies, Varash the [insert class name] began life as a proud Highborne. Now in his seventh century, his seething rage has cooled into a calculated malevolence.

The collapse of the Well of Eternity found Varash trapped in the forgotten Tomb of Sargeras, transformed and alone. Over the centuries, his keen intellect has grown profoundly. He grew accustomed to his serpentine form and began to study the artifacts in the Tomb, noting their agelessness. Through some incomprehensible method, he began to learn and master the art of manipulating time itself.

At his advanced age, the flesh is weak yet the mind is willing and strong. Despite his apparent frailty, he wields the raw forces of time to overwhelm his enemies, ceasing their very existence with a wave of the hand.

The only problem I see is that the "mini-storyline" put forth by the flavor text kinda meshes his "pre-Naga-morph" Night Elf days, and his actual "Naga" life; makes it rather ambiguous. Although perhaps that was the intent?

10-10-2008, 11:49 AM

Vestras

Holy shit, that's awesome!
I'll put that in, instantly!
+loved.

EDIT: One more.

|cffffcc00P|rossessed. Vile. Hungering for more power, Irrish had been a beast all of his so-called life. Corrupting other people's minds have never been hard to Irrish, and he has never been found in despair.

|cffffcc00F|righting for the undeads and killing innocent Night Elves is like stealing candy from kids, and he enjoys every mind he transforms into wreckages.

|cffffcc00B|reing that evil, he has only one goal; to destroy everything nice and good, and cause darkness to rule the world of goodness. Probably the most evil of the undead army, hungering for dead bodies only.

I'm very sorry that my grammar is that sucky, I just want to be sure that the stories are fully grammar-correct.

10-10-2008, 02:39 PM

Rising_Dusk

You need to come up with hero names that aren't so close to each other. (Varash, Irrish)

Also, Kyrbi0, don't just use a thesaurus to create a garbled mass of lengthy and uncommon words. I mean really, calculated malevolence? How do you calculate malice towards someone else? A figure can be calculating and malevolent, that does make sense, but calculated malevolence? No way. :p

Oh, and I'm fairly certain the highborne were high elves, for what that matters. (Don't quote me on that)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vestras

I'm very sorry that my grammar is that sucky

It's more that your choice of words makes it difficult to discern exactly what you're talking about or want to say.

10-10-2008, 02:57 PM

#10

Kyrbi0

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dusk

I mean really, calculated malevolence?

On the contrary. He is not just malevolent (evil and stuff), but he is cool, calm and calculated in performing malevolent deeds.

And "malevolence" =! "malice"

~~~

Been a while since I really read the lore, but I'm ~85% sure that the Highborne were made up of Azshara's inner sect and most loyal followers; basically, everyone who was "Naga-ized".

Pretty sure...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dusk

Oh, and I'm fairly certain the highborne were high elves, for what that matters. (Don't quote me on that)

Already did. :P

10-10-2008, 03:05 PM

#11

Rising_Dusk

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyrbi0

On the contrary. He is not just malevolent (evil and stuff), but he is cool, calm and calculated in performing malevolent deeds.

So say that, don't assume that your nonsensical mixing of two words says the same thing. (It doesn't)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kyrbi0

And "malevolence" =! "malice"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dictionary

malevolence
the quality, state, or feeling of being malevolent; ill will; malice; hatred.

Nice.

10-10-2008, 03:08 PM	#12
Vestras	Isn't malevolence and malice the same thing? And about the names; I didn't even see that... The two heroes are on different sides, so it's fine... And those aren't their full names, actually, their names is: - Varash Ildagan. - Irrish Rand.

10-10-2008, 06:29 PM

#13

Kyrbi0

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dictionary

malevolence
the quality, state, or feeling of being malevolent; ill will; malice; hatred.

I neglected to actually look it up. While they are technically synonyms, I meant that they "feel" different to me.
"Malice" is evil, but involving action and pre-thinking ("malice aforethought"). Something wielded; more "active" than malevolence.
"Malevolence" is also evil, but implies a deep, brooding, powerful evil; like an octopus. Cthulhu... octopus-like things (krakens, Ursula), etc.

So yeah, they're the same, but I think of them differently

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dusk

So say that, don't assume that your nonsensical mixing of two words says the same thing. (It doesn't)

I think they do. "Calculated" being the adjective to "malevolence"; how he manifests his "malevolence" is in a "calculated" fashion. Besides, it sounds nice, and I can't insert a large "explanative" sentence like that in there.

10-11-2008, 08:24 AM	#14
Askhati	@ Dusk: Calculated malevolence = Germany from the years 1933 to 1945.

10-11-2008, 08:31 AM	#15
Rising_Dusk	I think it sounds funny and improper, but that's okay, to each his own.