Turning a fruit of passion into an insane multiplayer experience?

For those of you who have been fallowing the "epic" saga that I have been working on (Links to in my sig).

I was wondering what would be a goodway to turn this into a war3 map. Just to tie it in with a retarded feel good map.

I might modify my arena map and just make all the enemies badgers, but how would I go about adding the painstakingly cliched and stupid dialogue?

And of course who would do most of the work and let me shove my name on it?

Learn to trigger. It isn't hard and it solves all your problems.