How long time did it take you to make this cinematic? If it was... say... 30 minutes I'd say it's pretty good. If it's 1hr or more I'd say ur... uhm... okay... if it's closer to 3 weeks go take a shower.
I shall download it as soon as I get home. Not too seem overly critical (Did I use the right word?), or anything, but I hope that it has improved from Nr.1
It was good for a first try, but if you haven't improved any from there then... well...