That sounded good to me. I think it got a bit repetitive and messy-sounding from about 1:00 to 1:20 with the repeating low-pitched bu-bu-bum. (Wow, that was an accurate description :P). Maybe the last few bu-bu-bums could be more desperate-sounding. Not being a music person myself, I don't know how that would be accomplished, but maybe it would be by shifting the notes up a little. Or a different, less minor-esque key. Or maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I strongly recommend disregarding my technical advice. | 
