Anime pratice (again)

Just a little face i drawn quickly, wanted to show it before i screw up all by testing my new inking pen!! to be more exact... this pen, will post the result if its good lol

whoa, Bug eyes!
try making the eyelids more flat than round
anime characters usually don't have such a huge expression on their lips either

I cuncur the eyes are really freaking me out.
The hair looks to straight for anime/manga style and the jaw looks
like it has been unhinged which causes the mouth to look like
its on a person who is mildly retarded.
The face is also a little too rounded.
I hope i wasn't to harsh,Sorry if i was...

erm, can you give me permission to 'draw' on your picture? to show you whats wrong?
i hate typing things out because half the time noone gets it

Well, where to start! First, as the other said, the eyes! Eyes are very important on a manga character, they do all the impressions etc. Your eyes are (like most of the other stuff) too 'human' like (like in RL). You have to make them more cartoony in shape. And the mouth too, you just make a small line, not the full mouth as you did. The headshape, you have to shape it like a 'V'. And the hair, it needs more changes than the natural look. It needs weird tangles and stuff.
Its hard to explain, best is, if you look on drawn manga pictures on the net, there you can understand the face's construction and just copy off the picture.
Of course the style differs form person to person.

btw you may have a look on my first drawn manga heads HERE

(sorry for non deep detail, have to hurry on train!)

well aside from his... err

generic response

i have it!

*sry for this*
the head shape is well done, but it was off by a tiny bit, so it doesnt matter
the shoulders were too short, you needed to make them longer...

the gray highlight shows that the eyes were lopsided, and can help control your balance of the face if you presketch it

Thanx shadow, that'll do it!
Now, there I missed the train, I can continue to draw .

hahalol, i just saw your first manga heads
then i realized

you bought how to draw manga by katie coop! hahaaha....

wait... so did i

Yes you have permission to draw over it if you want, im happy the head shape is ok since i did the whole drawing in like 5 min... the lines just down of the pupils need work or not im not too sure about this form but theres a lot of alternate way to draw a manga eyes and im not totally sure but if i remember correctly i think this one is one of them, hair is ok... and i know about tangles, but again theres multiple way to draw them i should had the tongue, shade and everything, its initially drawn to test my inking pen over it so it may be a little lazy made, other than that its like partially incomplete emotion here

btw i know a lot on manga too, i grow up with manga since im like 3 years old, ill be hanging around waiting for what shadow wanted to show, but i will have to go we are making a party since my birthday is in 3 more days (i will be at school the 31) i will post more anime crap on this thread since i dont draw much of them but i love them, trying to get good since i may go to japan in like 2-3 years for a lot of time, id like to go study as a mangaka

btw i realized i made many mistakes but well ill correct them as soon i can

ya, its up there, clik on the attachment

and its not 'tangles' its 'bangs'

katie who? learned that the way I told up there ^^.

errr wathever its called, but i know what he meant

o nvm.... just keep pracicing guys

Heh, me is swiss, so, I have to use quickdic for most words ^^.

Shadow pracicing isn't a word.
Good luck on your art Saboera.
And good luck with your english Tyraxor.