A Child's Dream

Long time since i last posted. kinda in a lost mood, so i hope you fellas like this story, or not. Whatever you decide. I just feel bad that this breaks the forums rules (as if so much other people don't do it) because its not about WC. But it does talk about warriors, so i guess it kinda does.... Whoops, looks like i keep on talking. Here's the story. Its more of a children's story though.


There was once a boy who wanted to be a great hero. All his life, he told everyone in his village that he would become a great hero and travel the world, helping others. He was helpful around the village, helping in whatever sense a child can. The town was proud of him, for they said, he had a good heart. They all believed that he would reach his dream and become a great hero one day.

One day, the boy was told to gather berrys in the forest from his mother. The boy skipped to the forest fearless, for heroes showed no fear. The forest, though, was said to have elves running around. The boy went about and gathered enough berries to last his small family. When he turned to go back home, he saw a little elf.

The elf smiled at the boy, showing that he was harmless. The boy stood proud showing no fear in front of the elf, but this only made the elf laugh. The elf danced about and finally stopped in front of the boy. The boy asked the elf,"Do you wanted some berries?" The elf said that he was full and beginned to look the boy in the eye.

The elf spoke, "Little boy, I am a great traveler. I have seen the world and knows what it means."

The boy looked at the elf with doubt. No one can see the whole world. It was too big. When the elf looked at him with a serious face, the boy know then that the elf wasn't lying. He asked the elf, "Why did you tell me this?"

Suddenly, the elf looked the boy in the eye, and raised his hands into a cross. The boy saw what the elf had said. The boy saw the whole world and knew what it meant. Then everything went dark and the boy fell. He woke later in the day, not knowing if he had seen an elf or not. But he knewwhat it had shown him was real. He went back into the village and told no one of what he saw.

Soon, the boy became a man, and then an old man. He never became a hero. No one in the village said anything about this, but one day, the grandchildren of the boy asked him, "Grandpa, why didn't you become a great hero?"

The boy, who was now old, laughed, and replied, "I had seen the world for what it is, and so, I could never be a hero, for it holds no heros."

A few spelling mistakes here and there. I'll point them all out if you want me to.
Another thing is that your sentences in your paragraphs don't really flow together. There's no rithym, no manner in which they're linked - if you see what I mean.
Secdonly, I don't think you describe thing ebough. The whole story seemed to be going so fast. I mean, what does the boy look like? What the Elf like? What's the mood of the surrounding?

Like i wrote, its more of a child's story that a parent tells to a child. Truly, i'm kinda sick of writing stories for adults. They get boring and tiring. I guess i'm just sick of trying to craft a story to comes to no ends, but makes the reader feel like they read something adult-like, if you know what i mean. Anyways, it wasn't suppose to be like a rythme or anything, more or less like a story told to child at a camp fire.

A nice story, not good for people who are more tend to serious stories, but it looks good from the sight of a child. Every child would want to become a hero after all, only at later age you'll learn that something like that doesn't exist.

A nice conclusion to the story. I like it, nicely done.

aaaaah... how many times have I saved the world when I was younger? How many times have put the "bad guys" in prison when I was younger? How many times have I defeated terrible and terrifying monsters?
*starts drowing in the good 'ol days...*

It's called fantasy. When I could barely talk, I wanted to become a "police CAR" when I was older.