Short Nihilistic Writings.

Hey just needed a place where my work can be critisiced.
sooo... ill just post a few things i write when i feel like writing and stuff.

Here is a poem i made when thinking about my brother..
it all happend except him dieing though.

its called :"I want to fly like a bird."

Dont you have any regret?
Or did you simply forget?
The days you hit me, hit me til i was all blue
Pain in my heart, body. didnt know what to do.
I pretend i do not remember, and blocked out my memory.
My Mind a mockery, a faint glimps of what it was supposed to be
The nights where i stood with a knive above your head
You could count them there, unsavely in your bed.
Thoughts of hate...Feelings of fear.
Hate broken, thanks to the loving mom i still hear.

Still i feel the scars. none physical, but all hurt.
I want to fly, I want to fly like a bird.

Tears havnt stoped to drip
On the knife i tight my grip
Today is going be the day brother, you are gonna fly.
No pain, no love. dont know what to do, but cry.
I pretend i dont remember, and blocked out my memory
My Mind a mockery, a faint glimps of what it was supposed to be
In this night i thrust with my knive towards your head.
Fly like the bird brother, dead in your bed.
Thoughts of joy...feelings of grief
Hate broken, my mind thinks its going to be a relief.

Now I sit not all alone. in a prison, among hurts
I want to fly, I want to fly like the birds.

tell me what you think. dont be to scared to write anything negative.
im still learning :god_help_us:

Best poem I ever read! Keep up the good work!

Its cool, I like it. I like how you ended it by the way, but I think it could have flowed a little better. Good job nonehtheless.

(God I love saying nonetheless, because little do people know, it IS one word.)

If you like the word that much, try to write it right ;)

It's nice, Dream. Could be better, could be worse, regardless, I've seen something similar not too long ago :P

Is it written nontheless?

Anyway, i still see it as the best poem i ever seen (see it as seen)

Keep up the good work. It's nice to see, that theres some poets here. ;)

What should i have done better? (you saw something like this bevore??? its about my brother who is insane...doubt alotta people have a brother like mine)

i personely think its I pretend i do not remember, and blocked out my memory.
My Mind a mockery, a faint glimps of what it was supposed to be
and
. :) those suck.

well. thanks for the good replys always good to know you dont totaly suck

here is a new one. hope you like it. i used it as a sig for my old account(tosso) though.

Bloody Tears of grief fill my sight, death and bones as i am desending in my flight.
Wings spread, Eyes open wide. all will die when in the wind i ride.
Mouth open, I am fires guide. They lay in ashes and the stench of burning hide.

Watery Tears of grief cover my face. Fear and screams as i am forced to raze
Words spoken, I make magic race. All will die when they feel its gaze.
Claws reaching, nails strike. Man flee as I scream my name: �Thryke�

Flight of Thryke.
Detoran Tosso.

It used to have a third paragraph. but i lost that. and i cant rewrite it.

You just keep doing it? Make a poem book for god sake!

uuhh.....whats wrong?

----------[E.d.i.t.]-----------
oww that is positive... im a social retard.