The life of an Alliance hobo.

NOTE: This was not made to copy TheReapers ghoul story. ive had this idea for a while but TheReaper gave me some more inspiration.

The life of an Alliance hobo.

I woke up suddenly outside the cathedreal steps early in the morning, well rudely woken up i say. stupid priests....they think theyre better than me. But i had to be off. i first decided to head over to the trade quarter of the city to ask for money and check the garbage of the local cheese shop. when i got there the two army losers were theyre again yelling out random crap about the alliance army. i dont really pay attention to them anymore. once i got to the cheese shop i grabbed a few slices of tossed cheese and started to make my way towards the great moat. i headed down the hill and the stairs and started to bathe myself. some of the local merchants say i wash my self more than our great king! after washing myself and eating the remnants of the cheese i headed over to goldshire where i would then walk to northshire. one thing that is really cool about northshire is all the new paladins, warlocks etc dont know what theyre doing so theyll do ANYTHING.

i started off by getting a rogue to get me some wolf skins. when he asked for his reward i told him he went up a level (i cant beleive it worked) i sold the skins and after about an hour of ripping off the new ones someone reported me to the local guards and i was escorted out of elwynn forest. stupid government.

i was then thrown into the shit hole of the alliance Westfall. this place is so full of crime the army just gave up. well after trying to help the local militia (hey it was a free meal) and that proved useless i went to the defias traitor. he told me everything about the defias and then said i can get 50c if i kill a few of them. i headed over to theyre base and right before i was slashed into a bunch of peices i explained i wanted to join teh defias and ill do anything to prove myself......

it turns out joining the defias sucks bullocks cause i swear i was paddled atleast 50 times. then i had to walk across a plank over water THEN i had to run up to a gnoll slap it then run back without getting hit. but it was all worth it, i was finally in the defias. i was led to Van Cleef to get my red leather bandana but then he said that i passed the first test. all i could remember was more paddling as the second test. THEN i got my bandana.

holy crap this thing was uncomfortable. i couldnt breath properly but a defias smuggler told me id get used to it...i hope he was right. first i was stationed around some abandoned farm. all these people kept on trying to kill me but me and a few dark caster people kept killing them...heh stupid noobs. then after killing enough nooblets i was promoted to run a small smuggling rig near this huge tower thing. it was cool cause we kept getting these shipments of drugs, weapons and in one box there was a huge snake!

when i asked one guy where we get all this stuff from he sais that pirates send it up from stranglethorn vale. so being the curious cat i am i took off my f*cking uncomfortable red leather bandana and started to swim down the river.

once i got to the end and after killing a crap load of crocodiles i found myself at this weird town called booty bay. i automatically thought it was going to be full of whores and liquer but it turns out goblins suck. and theyre women are ugly...and not very open.

i then asked around where i could find the pirates. after having a bunch of these stupid things chase me i was thrown out of another area. thankfully i was thrown into the pirate camp! i explained i wanted to join them and about 100 paddling adventures later i was a pirate! arrrr!

our first mission was to board this boat that goes from booty bay to ratchet. once we got on there were a bunch of trolls and orcs yelling things like "loktar aadargal!" and one cow person yelled "|\|00|3!!!" which i can only think means noob. after slaughtering them and making a killer burger from the cow guy we got into ratchet. well if i learnt anything from booty bay i knew the goblins wouldnt like us. well they didnt so we had to kill them. but this time a few goblin women were more open but a pirate killed them before i could get further

we then headed over to the other pirate encampment and fell asleep for the night.

the next morning i saw a orc! i was gonna kill him before i relized he was a fellow pirate! well i really wanted to know how he communicates with the rest of the pirates so after asking around it turns out he speaks common too! go figure! so i started to talk with him and he taught me how to speak orc. and guess what...|\|00|3 does mean noob!

after learning the different languages from the different pirates (who knew it was possible to learn murloc?) i headed out into the barrens because the pirates kicked me out for having afair with Ticklewickle a local goblin.

i have been kicked out of a group again because of my actions.

now the scariest shit ive ever seen is in the barrens. crazy freaking huge monster things called kodos tried to eat me but i killed them all. i started to head south. after getting lost after being chased by a large group of the horde i ended up right infront of Theramore. i heard about this place. well apparently they heard im a jackass so i was chased onto a boat. god dammit why does everyone hate me?

i ended up in this depressing dead forest area witha bunch of night elves. thankfully i dont think they hate me so i made a few friends. one friend i made called Leetnerogue went out with me to hunt these weird dieng animals but she died. i told her not to dance without any armour on! i cried for days. i remembered the good times about her telling me about her exotic peircings and her constantly dancing. when i went to burry her body a bunch of cloth fell out of her bra. and a buldge appeared in her crotch. i quickly relize that Leetnerogue was a MAN!!! i reported this to the local guard and they explained this happens alot cause people are pervs.

i was now disgusted with humanity. i wanted to find a way to end it all. so i ate the meat of a dieng animal...then i fell asleep. when i woke up all i heard was "get the intruder" so i looked around for a horde but i relized the guards were coming for me! i looked at my hands so i could get out my sword but they were rotting....i just said outloud "SHIT! im a fucking undead person now? wtf this is bull shit! why the fuck cant i be normal?" the swearing got the night elves more angry and they chased me out of darkshore. check off another group that doesnt like me.

now i was pissed. im a fucking zombie that has no friends....blah blah blah.
i then saw something in the distance! it was another undead guy so i asked for assistance. it turns out he was a mage so he teleported me to my new capital city.

i then emerged in the Undercity. i was advised to talk with queen sylvanas to get caught up on the goin ons of teh forsaken.

it turns out that the undead are just a bunch of goth freaks! death this shadow that burning death here darkness there. i got sick of this shit. the one place im accepted and it turns out theyre losers! i just wanted to end it all and this time id make sure of it. i told tichondrius that dreadlords suck balls and he sliced me in two. but then i heard voices come from somewhere i couldnt place. i felt as if i was dreaming.....

I woke up suddenly outside the cathedreal steps early in the morning, well rudely woken up i say. stupid priests....


the end...or is it?

damn not a single reply....

heres one.

I really dont see why people do not reply to these things. I wrote one and I've had tons of views but will ANYBODY REPLY? any feedback? not even a vote in my poll! NOTHING!!!!!
COME ON PEOPLE!

Okay, I am going to help you some grammer errors. First I haven't even read the story and I can find tons of mistakes. If you are going to write a story the grammer must be above reproch, otherwise people won't want to read it, and it will seem sloppy. Here is the grammer I saw. You keep writing I as i. It must be capatalized.
You start your sentances without capatalizing, you must capatalize the first word of each sentance.


Only 3 ... is nessicary.


You must know the difference between the 3 there's. Ill explain.
There: Is refering to a destination or point. Example, "Bob lives over there.".
Their: Is the possesion of something to a person. Example: "That toy is theirs."
They're: Is refering to 'they are'.

You can also expand on this sentace. Here is what I would have wrote. "When I arrived at the local cheese shop, two army soldiers, which I thought were losers, were yelling out random nonesense. I didn't really pay attention to them anymore."


? This is confussing. Did he enter a building? Tip: Make sure to note everything that the main character has done, if he enters a building, make sure the reader know he is.


Again, make sure to note what the character is doing. You said after washing myself and eating remnants of cheese i headed over the goldshire where i would then walk to northshire. Okay to me this is what it sounds like the character is doing. He/she is sitting in a bathtub, washing himself/herself, and the picks up a remnant of cheese, while still in the tub, and eats it. Then he/she got up and walked to the goldshire naked and then over to the northshire, still naked. Make sure to note everything.


You don't need to write a word in all caps. Adding a ! will be enough of a expression to allow the reader to know that they know nothing!


Tell us more about what happened, and how the rouge got the skins. Did the main character help him get the skins? How did the main character ask the rouge to get him some skins in the first place? Where was the rouge located? Was he a mercenary? Try not to leave the readings in the dark. Be more explanitory.


Whats c? Also again be more explanitory.


'id', isn't a word. Use 'I would'.


You want to re-arrange this sentance. Instead of writing "me and a few dark casters", write "a few dark casters and I". Also 'noobs' isn't a word, use something like ammeturs.


The biggest lecture I have ever gotten in an english class, about how to write was, never, ever! use the word 'thing' or 'things'.


Always check your spelling.


Don't start a sentance with 'and'. There is only a few, few exceptions.


I don't think I have to explain here.



Mistake. This is what you should have wrote. "After being chased by a large group of the Horde, I got lost."

I don't think I have to continue. Here is my advice, if I took the time to read and write this entire post, then you have the time to make sure your spelling is correct, and that you have good grammer. Make sure to proof read what you have written, I proof read this post!
Do not get offended by this post, I am just trying to help. Most new writers make tons of mistakes as well.
Keep it up.
~Azhag~

um.... can you please read it THEN make fun of my horrible grammar and lazyness to press the caps lock?

Im not making fun of nothing. Im just helping you. If you think that by me giving you advice on how to improve your grammer is insulting your writing, then I'm sorry you are wrong. I read the entire story.

So did I. I think you should perhaps write another day. and have each day start with that awakened by priests thing.

Actually, this is Decadence's job, but I can do it too, except the fact that I'm no grammar nazi.

Naturally, that is common sense, though often forgot in the average post.



'Necessary', not "nessicary".



'I'll', not "Ill".

'Sentence', not "sentace".


No question mark in front of a word.
"Confusing" not "confussing".
Place the tip on the second line.

You gave me a good laugh there. Don't forget the nice -> ' 's :P They help when you are pointing something out.


If that isn't enough and your want to put more pressure on the word. You could make it fat.


'Rogue', not "Rouge".
'Explanatory', not "explanitory".


'C' is the word after the 'B'.


Or "I'd". This is an example of how you use it: "I'd kill myself if I'd read the story :P"


'Amateurs', not "ammeturs". 'Rookies', or 'starters' are often used as well.


Don't forget the "capital". The word itself can be used, but not in every possible way. Though it is not used right in the quote, it could be used in different situations though.


Owr let somoene prof-raed id when u are serius


When using the "..." then it can be used. It depends on the situation. I usually do things like that, take example to that... and, don't forget to remember it.


"Cow person"? =\


'A mistake'.
Or expand it something like: "After being chased by a large group of the Horde I just kept on running. At certain moments, I could not even remember why I was running, but I knew it was for a good reason, so I kept running without hesitation. While running out of fear, I did not really think about where I was running, and it was unavoidable that I got lost." or something similar...

You don't?

We all know that everyone starts out like... well, starts out bad, but everyone grows and become better. You just don't want to look at my posts while I was at Pgamers. Though it was better than Arcy, he was really pushing the edges :P Nah, I always had a decent grammar.

If you take me as example and think that I/we got it granted to have a good grammar, you are wrong. Reaching a certain place in life can only be achieved by hard work. I don't believe in "talent".

Yeah, that sums it up.

He is not making fun of you. I am making fun of him :P
Even though your story isn't that bad in grammar (I've seen worse) it usually becomes annoying when you read something full with mistakes.

Decadence is often doing the same thing - but harsher - and is actually not insulting anyone. He is just kindly picking out the mistakes so you won't make them again. I am usually happy when people pick them out for me. I'm quite used to it as well, with a brother who is a grammar nazi -_- Even though I am one of the best in grammar of the forum, the real "grammar nazi's" can pick multiple mistakes from a post of mine without any problems. Personally, I have a problem with the "awhile" and "a while" word. No one is perfect, but you can sparkle.

Not everything is a log, Xiash. Take my story, 'If, and only if' as example. I reached 2 pages of the forum while I only wrote about 2 - 3 days.

-Fladian

Ya, I was tired yesturday when I wrote that, so I proof read it, but didn't spell check it :P. Also I have a few things to point out about your post Fladian.


C is not a word, its a letter. :P


This isn't a mistake, I would just like to point out that you can take a three word sentance, and expand it to a great length, just like Fladian showed you. (The three word sentance was made up, I just used it as an example.)


Like always. :P lol j/k

The biggest mistake many writers make is one word, in my opinion. The word 'alot', is mispelled by many writers. It is spelled 'a lot', it is two words. Just a tip.
KingGigli I really just want to help your mistakes. I could do you a favor. When and if you write more, PM it to me and I will take out all the spelling and grammer mistakes, and PM it back to you, and you can post it.
Thanks for pointing out my mistakes Fladian. I will be posting my story very soon, so you will be able to critize me too. :P
~Azhag~

'Yesterday', not "yesturday" :P

Whee, someone is pointing words out from me :P

Word, letter, spam, president, they all sound the same to me :P


I never mentioned it was a mistake. I meant that you had to write: "A mistake" instead of just "mistake".


Naturally. It is my personality, live with it.

True, it is a mistake that often appears. Though the problems of "I'd" into "Id" or "I'll" in other variations seem to appear more often. If you look carefully, the most simple words are often the problem-words.

Not really necessary. This forum is partly made to help people like that. Going through PM's and the like is only a waste of time at the moment.

Anytime, Azhag, but do know that Decadence is better in things like this. He doesn't have the same problem I have... building up sentences.

Sure, as long as you sparkle~

-Fladian

Sorry you got me wrong. I meant to say, this isn't a mistake I was just pointing something out.


No comment.


I guess your right.

Just goes to show, that even grammer whores like me make mistakes. No one is perfect.

No, no, you mentioned in that sentence the word "mistake", I pointed out that it was supposed to be "a mistake" with an 'a' in front of it.

Naturally :P

Everyone makes mistakes from time to time... though I do admit that I still can't find any mistakes of one single person, but then again, he taught me English.

"Nobody is perfect, I am nobody"

EDIT:
'You're' not "your".

No more posts made by me, unless it invoulves helping someone.

i was not taking offence. i was being sarcastic. i read everything you critiqued me on and to be honest for my next story ill be on my toes.

I know not everything is a log, but I still would like to see more stuff.
Perhaps you could do another about an orc or something?