A Beautiful World?

04-14-2005, 12:56 AM	#1
Ignitedstar	Author: Me! A Beautiful World? Do we live in a beautiful world? I see sparkling rivers Plenty of animals Plentiful precipitation Beautiful sun light Rich topsoil Fresh air Gentle trees and their lucious fruit But I really see polluted rivers Endangered animals Acid rain Harmful sun rays Poor quality soil Disgusting air Dying trees and no fruit Do we live in a beautiful world? I think not.

04-14-2005, 01:03 AM	#2
KingGigli	stating the obvious. i give you a 1/10 for originality. somewhat well written though.

04-14-2005, 01:06 AM

Ignitedstar

Quote:

Originally Posted by KingGigli

stating the obvious. i give you a 1/10 for originality. somewhat well written though.

Eh... This is something I really didn't care about. ;)

04-14-2005, 01:06 AM	#4
xiash	Been done before, and don't say you see fruit, then say you do not.

04-14-2005, 01:08 AM	#5
KingGigli	i see a brown banana.

04-14-2005, 01:54 AM

JetPack

I'm really sorry but I'd have to say this isn't very good. It has two question marks and a period for the entire poem, this doesn't logically make sense, it should at least have puncuation every few lines. In it's current state it's two questions and a statement.

Question 1
Do we live in a beautiful world?

Question 2
I see sparkling rivers
Plenty of animals
Plentiful precipitation
Beautiful sun light
Rich topsoil
Fresh air
Gentle trees
and their lucious fruit

But I really see polluted rivers
Endangered animals
Acid rain
Harmful sun rays
Poor quality soil
Disgusting air
Dying trees
and no fruit

Do we live in a beautiful world?

Statement
I think not.

Overall I'm giving you a 3/10, it really could of been a lot better.

04-14-2005, 03:41 AM	#7
Ignitedstar	AHEM! I said I really didn't care. I was going to put a ton of more effort into it, but I lost my inspiration and my modivation. So, it sucks.