A Dirty Sky

Author: Me!

If your going to rate my writings, give me real comments. Also give me some examples of the strong points in my writings. It makes me feel better knowing that I have ups and not only downs. Don't say that you should realize your own strength!

My English teacher says that you should write about what you know. In this one, I wrote about me, and my love for astronomy.


A Dirty Sky

I go atop my rooftop, climbing the rusty red bricks that cover my house, it's not as fun though when climbing on them, however, looking even higher into the atmosphere is very rewarding.

Gazing at the heavenly objects before my very eyes, I see the mejestic light that each give, and the all the possible things that we yet might find. Knowing that we, as humans, are just part of a huge, massive universe, and only knowing that it might be growing bigger. But, we have a long ways to go if we are to exit our home, The Milky Way. Just seeing one arm in the endless sky just tells us how little we are, compared to how big things can get.

Looking in the sea of stars let's me imagine swimming in the sea. Just floating, letting all of my woes and stress be relieved by the serene feeling of water touch my face, and revitalize my body and mind. It clarifies and organizes my thoughts and feelings, making me feel at peace.

If we were to unlock the gate that let's us go farther into space., then exploration will be ideal... too ideal maybe. I'm guessing that it will. Well then, why don't we just leave the sea of stars by itself, and let it go back into the dirty sky. May no one open the gates that leads to it's waters... except me.

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Ooo! I like this one! I, as a person really do like astronomy. Prehaps too much imagination?

I'm going to invent a NEW scale, because my other one gave a rating a little too high for this piece.

Character Development: 3/10, Humor 0/5, Writing Skill 8/10, Effort 5/15, Grammar 8/10, Flow 7/10, Idea 9/15, Format 5/5 Tilt 6/10. 50/90.

Character Development: There is only a little bit of this :s Since the piece is so short its kind of hard to do, though.

Humor: There was none. Its not that big of a deal, just 5 points.

Writing Skill: You are a fairly good writer, at least in this short piece.

Effort: Mainly docked because its so short. It doesn't take very long to write something like this. Also, I like to read long stuff.

Grammar: You have good grammar.

Flow: It flows well enough.

Idea: Good, but it needs development. You can't tell that much in that short a space :/

Format: This is an easy 5/5 as long as you doublespace paragraphs and capatalize and punctuate properly.

Tilt: Its fairly good, but it needs to be longer, and you need to develop your ideas more throughly. Keep writing though!

Sorry. It's just that I had this all ready to go until the stupid cookies things erased itself, and then the whole complete story was deleted. I only managed to save the beginning, the ending, and a tiny bit of the middle. :(

Ouch, that hurts. I reccommend writing the story in notepad and then saving to disk periodically, then eventually taking the entire thing over to wc3c. Thats what I do anyways. Its also good so you have sort of an archive of your stuff on your computer.

My rating (yay!):

Before you read my rating, know that I use different scales in order to have a global rating out of 100 that takes in consideration all important parts more than the others.

Script: 15/20 — A good idea, just a bit too short

Descriptions: 17/20 — You make good descriptions!

Imagination: 9/15 — Nothing special to say about this

Writing skill: 12/15 — You definitely have some skill

Action: 2/10 — That's what this story lacks of

Humor: 5/10 — I won't penalize you for this

Transposition of the author: 10/10 — In an authobiography, you are normally 100% in your story, so here ya go, a free 10/10


Global rating: 60/100 — A good story, but too short and "intemporal": add a bit of action, I don't mean fights and all that stuff (lol) but rather some different wiews maybe, or something that makes the story more "alive".