Romance Across Sides 2

Well I decided to make another one.



"I got here as quickly as I could." A voice came out of the darkness behind a female tauren.

"Good, Hill." Replied the cow woman.

"I was able to get out of guard duty easily. No one suspects a thing they think I am out slaying boar men." A human male now emerges. He has a short blonde hair with no visible facial hair.

The tauren is well built with medium sized muscles. Her hips are wide and her breasts are large. She has a bovine look to her.

The two lovers kiss then lie down beside the fire, they fondle and kiss more.

Just as the human starts taking off his shirt a noise comes from the bushes, the two warriors instantly stand up and grab their weapons.

Out of the bushes come three tauren warriors without hesitation they slaughter the human.

"Visha, are you ok?" Asked a tauren.

Shocked and not being able to say anything Visha just stands there over her dead lover.

"She must have been taken by surprise. We should leave her a bit, See you at Thunder Bluff Visha." Sais another tauren.

The three tauren leave as a tear forms in Vishas eye and drops down onto the ground.

She then takes her lovers sword and takes her own life.

The other story was ok but this one is really bad in my opninion. I spent the first half of the story trying to figure out who was which race, I think I got it down to them being a Tauren and a Human, but I still have no clue which is which sex.

While I'm not a fan of love stories or morbid ones this one falls into both categories. You stated, at least in the other thread that these were short stories. I would hardly even clasify these as short stories, they are more of short dialogues. These lack the descriptions or length to be considered a story.

To make this better in my eyes, it would have to have some sort of lead in or lead out of this dialogue to make it a story. That, or have a well built up paragraph or two in the middle describing the setting, charatcers, etc. You did a little of this, but not very much.

Overall I'm giving this a 5/10 I don't like it but it is what it is. Oh and after reading it for the 7th or 8th time I finally figured out who was which gender.

JetPack: did you even read this one? in the first sentence it sais "FEMALE TAUREN" and in the third i said "HUMAN MALE" you retard.

As for romance stories, make them longer.

Whoa you did, I take back the entire first paragraph, I'm really sorry. I feel really stupid now.

and so you should. do not mess with the leet powers of KingGigli and his amazing martial art moooooves.

Heh Gigli, just do a crap gif animation of JetPack, he'll feel dumb this way...