| 04-22-2005, 08:02 PM | #1 |
Yep, thats right, I finally decided to start the first contest of the story forum! Read on for the details.
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| 04-22-2005, 08:07 PM | #2 |
Guest | Count me in. My submission for the contest is: The Last Bomb Note: I wrote The Last Bomb AFTER knowing the contest rules in the 1st thread... Story added here by johnfn Eric's hair hid his face, so noone could know if he was sleeping or not. The phone rung in Eric's office. He moved a few of his several laptop computers and pulled a small high-tech phone from a drawer. The small number recognition device showed that Grant was phoning. Grant warned Eric about a new danger. Eric, as all other CIA elite agents do, had to save the world again. Eric tapped a few keys on his computer, and saw the inside of an appartment. The appartment was full of junk, and two of the three hidden cameras were blocked by metal pieces and wires. On the third camera, Eric could see a man polishing a huge metal machine which seemed too big to fit in the small appartment. In a quick move, Eric moved his long brown hair out of his face. After a quick investigation on his computer, Eric recognised the man next to the machine as Sir Aaron, a very dangerous criminal, known for trying to destroy the world twice and evading alone from the most reinforced jails at least five times. Sir Aaron finally had completed his machine. He was glad that he could finally make his dream come true: destroy the planet. A simple pressure on the switch on top of his machine would trigger a protonic bomb that would react with the lava under the Earth's crust and make the whole planet disappear in a giant blast. In a quick move, Sir Aaron moved his long red hair out of his face. Eric was not panicked at all. He even took his time. He paused to call his girlfriend on the phone and had a nice decontracted dialog with her. Sir Aaron was boiling some water. His last wish was to drink a simple mug of coffee before dying. He was a coffeine addict. Some people called him a freak when they saw the look of his enormous eyes, that were even blood-red on the sides. This is one of the reasons why he wants to destroy the world. Grant was panicked. He sat on a chair and closed his eyes, but nothing could let such pressure out, even if last time Eric saved the world. He may fail this time, he's just human after all. Eric had finished his call. He sat down, took a mike, and started speaking. Sir Aaron was hearing a voice somewhere in his machine. Something maybe went wrong. He then noticed the small camera in a corner of his appartment. The voice was not threatening, like last time, rather... laughing. Sir Aaron was totally surprised. He recognised the voice of Eric, that bloody agent, laughing at him. Suddenly, he sipped his coffee, threw the cup on the floor, and reach towards his machine. Eric was laughing in his office. Sir Aaron was really a clever thinker, but he simply forgot to add a switch to his machine. Too bad, he forgot the most important part, he won't be able to trigger his bomb. Eric took his phone and called Grant, to tell him everything was O.K. and that he could send his men to Sir Aaron's appartment. In a quick move, Sir Aaron moved his long red hair out of his face. |
| 04-22-2005, 08:13 PM | #3 |
I will try to count if Enemies of the Motherland have more than 2000 words, ih not, ill be in. Wait for further notice. Story added by johnfn Potekarev looked around him in the small boat where he and around twelve others that had never even seen a gun sat. Everything he heard the last days were "Comrades! We will win because our courage and strength! Remember that retreating will be seen as traitory to the motherland and all doing this will be shot!". Pretty words. It was a little snowy. And damn cold. The water in the river was all grey. The heaven was grey. Yuri waked him from he's day-dreaming. "We are going in land now. Get up before the commisars see you!". Potekarev could see Yuri's point. Sleeping could easily quickly become dangerous when you were teamed up with lieutenant Sokow. They stepped down on a bridge. More and more of Potekarev's "great courage" faded away as he saw the hell ahead. Unexperinced russian soldiers running around in desperation. They knew that they woudln't survive any long out there. The hope faded more when he looked back his shoulder and saw a boat like his being blown to smithereens. A commisar pushed him in the back. "Go! Show the Motherland that we will fight for her!". He moved foward through others on the small bridge. He was given a Mosin-Nagant rifle (common russian WW2 rifle) with three magazines (each magazine is five-bullet). He was about to run into battle with a bolt-action rifle and kill hundred and millions of german soldiers with fifthteen bullets (or it seemed like hundred and millions). Again he was pushed forward by the commisar. The commisar had an angry grimase. "Foward comrades! The day of the facists destruction has come! Foward!" Noone reacted in two seconds, then the commisar was shot down. A shot right in the head. Everyone on the bridge looked at the window in the building the shot seemed to come from. Six snipers was in different windows in the building. Man after man the Russians were shot down. Potekarev ran as fast as he could into the battefield. The numerous ruined buildings was a perfect cover. He looked to the right. A great explosion came. It seemed to they were accompanied by a Tiger. A explosion more came. Closer to him. When the smoke was gone he saw something come flying. Before he could se what it was it hit him in the head. Seconds after he rose again took his helm on and looked what it was that hit him. He fell in a shock. It was a arm. The explosion hit someone and the arm chose to flew towards him and shock him. He was so afraid of the horrible sight, that he ran out from he's cover to find a new. It was just to much. He looked around himself. Everywhere he saw his friends fall. Some ran with flags symbolising the communistic comrade-ship. He found a cover. A wrecked car. He sat behind it and looked up on the german line. Then he saw two Stukas (german fighter-planes) flying towards him. Both fired up their machineguns. He ducked. Actually he hoped to die because this was a pure hell. They missed. Now it was just too much. Forgetting the officers words how they treated those who retreated. He ran into a commisar. Both fell on the ground. As soon as both came up. Both of them got the situation the commisar raised he's gun to shoot the "traitor". In panic and desperation Potekarov pulled the trigger of he's weapon and shot the commisar. Around three commisars saw it and quickly armed Degytarev's (russian WW2 machinegun) and shot after him. Potekarev saw no need of falling to his own officers, so he ran towards the germans. Being fired at from both sides he knew he couldn't get away. In panic he threw himself in the ground. While he was lying in the ground none of the machinegunes could hit him. He was thinking of his wife. She surely knew she wouldn't see him again. Why were he drafted into the doomed armies of the allies. Why were he born when he was going to die anyway? That was what he was thinking. He looked at the large Volka River. To him, it looked like it was filled with blood. He saw men from the destroyed boats drowning. He kept turning he's head from side to side to get from the horrid sights, but everywhere, it was even more scary to look. He looked up. There was a Stuka. He saw something come down from it when it flew over his head. It was a bomb. Finally he could get out of the hell and into the heavens..... |
| 04-22-2005, 08:15 PM | #4 |
Guest | I guess it has, it's so short... but correct your numerous typos before the deadline ^_^ |
| 04-22-2005, 08:18 PM | #5 |
I will correct the typos but eeh... : "I guess it has, it's so short... " you mean it is short enough or it has more than 2000 words?? |
| 04-22-2005, 08:18 PM | #6 |
My submission The General surveyed the battlefield; behind him lay a rough terrain which would cause many problems if a battle was too take place here. The Jungle would give him problems if he wanted to move his beetles into position, if he could they would devastate the enemy army. Leonard realized that this would be the most important battle to this war. His foot soldiers were beaten up very badly after his encounter with the beetles. His siege equipment was also very poorly manufactured and didn't fire where it was supposed to. The bulk of his army, the flying ants, had been sent to intercept a possible threat at the Black ant capitol. Leonard's army was severely outnumbered, but he hoped that the beetles would be able to give him an advantage over the Red ants' army. The pressure for this battle was beating down on him like a magnifying glass on a hot summer's day. But before an offensive could be made he needed to contact the capitol to hear of the news there. Leonard slowly limped on his 5 legs over to the radio tower. He had lost his other leg in one of the first battles in the war from a misfired siege weapon. He walked through the flap and was immediately hit by a nauseating smell. The radar tower was also being used as field hospital and Leonard wasn't used to the smell of death and sickness yet. His troops had been hit by an epidemic that wiped out around 30 percent of his men. Leonard continued his slow limp over to the command station on the second level. As he made his way up the ramp, the smell seemed to stick to him like a fly in a spider web. When he was halfway up the ramp another soldier went scuttling down the ramp in a hurry bumping into Leonard. Shrugging it off Leonard continued walking. Not even a minute later the same ant ran past him, stopped and turned around. “You are General Thompson,� said the young soldier with a quivering voice. Leonard replied, “Yes, what seems to be the problem?� Stuttering ever couple of words he got out, “There is trouble on the Northern front.� Annoyed, with a questioning tone Leonard said, “What is the bad news you speak of? How urgent is it? When did it come in?� Struggling to find answers to the words Leonard was asking for he handed Leonard a piece of paper and ran. Leonard surveyed the paper it read as follows… The city of Antopia has been attacked. Somehow the red ants managed to get around you and have gotten to Antopia. This is very urgent as our armory is there and the red ants know that. Please move your army there as soon as possible to try to minimize the damage that will be done. Startled and confused by this message Leonard read it over a couple of times to be sure that it was saying what he thought was impossible. How could they have gotten around him? He had scouts everywhere and even had spies inside the red ant army. Could it have been when he was preoccupied with fighting the beetles? No, because he had reports that the Red ants hadn't been deployed yet at that point. There was no point in continuing to ponder about how this had happened, what was important was getting to that city. He went to the top of the radio tower to make the announcement. He shouted to the army the terrible news that had befallen their great empire and the importance of every one of his soldiers. His men were not happy by this news but reluctantly moved anyways. **************************************************************** Leonard awoke to darkness. His head hurt like he had been recently carrying ten pebbles. He tried to remember what had happened through the pounding pain that he could now feel in his head. He remembered himself ordering to charge on the red ants and then the sky darkened. The next thing he could remember was the cries and shrieks of pain from his fellow soldiers. He quickly tried to push that memory out of his head, but it wouldn't go away. He soon realized that the sounds weren't coming from his mind but only a few feet away from him. He got up slowly and followed the cries; he was horrified when he discovered who they came from. It was a red ant soldier; Leonard became even more distraught about where he was. Leonard then ran at the ant and grabbed him and started questioning him. “Where has your kind taken me?!� Leonard asked. The other ant yelled as he soon discovered that someone else was in there he said, “I don't know and even if I did I would never tell you.� “You lie, tell me my location now!� As he tightened his grip around the red ant's neck. “I would die before I told you anything,� said the ant and slowly went unconscious. Leonard then looked around him trying to figure out why it was so unnaturally dark. He walked to his right and quickly walked into an invisible barrier. It was smoother than anything else he had felt before and it was transparent. Leonard repeatedly tossed the red ant's body at it hoping to break it and escape but it didn't even make a mark. Leonard managed to pick a very small hole in the barrier and got one of his feelers out of it. He was very confused with what he saw; there seemed to be many tunnels above him and at the top a very large red rectangular object. This was clearly a diabolical red ant prison, only they would use red on their buildings. Leonard attacked the barrier trying to make a larger hole so he could escape. Leonard was soon exhausted from this and collapsed on the ground and fell asleep. He awoke to see that it was bright again. He stood up and heard an ear-shattering noise. He quickly fell over again because of the pain. It eventually stopped and he stood back up. Suddenly the ground beneath him started moving and the tunnels above him started caving in. He was quickly enveloped by sand and struggled for his life to escape, but it was to no avail. He heard large sounds that moved away followed by crying. “Mommy, my ants are gone,� said the child. “I told you to be more careful, you know how fragile they are.� The child broke out into tears. The mother sympathetically said, “We can always get you some new ones.� |
| 04-22-2005, 08:20 PM | #7 |
Guest | JetPack, you got issues with ants, eh? ^_^ Your submission was done way too quickly, you should really rework it... |
| 04-22-2005, 08:21 PM | #8 |
Its from a thread from January, its on the 3rd of 4th page. here It was cleaned up a bit since last time I posted it. |
| 04-22-2005, 08:24 PM | #9 |
Guest | Indeed, I saw it. But it seems like a very quick essay, no personnal work on it... |
| 04-22-2005, 08:25 PM | #10 |
Hardly a quick essay, it took me 2 months to write it for a writers workshop in school. I also don't see how it isn't personal work considering I wrote it and it was the predecessor to the other stories I've posted. Off-topic: I just realised that posts in this forum don't increase your post count. |
| 04-22-2005, 08:27 PM | #11 |
Guest | You really wrote this for 2 months? Woot, you should spend 2 more months on it then, there is just a plain story, no symbolic (apparent) meaning, almost no litterary style figures. The only good points are the fluidity of the text when you read it and the good grammar and spelling. And BTW let's not spam this thread already... lol |
| 04-22-2005, 08:28 PM | #12 |
Count me in. Corrected the typos (not sure if i hit the edit post button after i corrected, we'll find out.) |
| 04-22-2005, 11:32 PM | #13 |
My submission: The Battle of The Elements. (Part 1 of 4) FIRE The volcanic ash settled as the chamber doors opened to reveal a Firelord standing at a burning pedestal. The smaller Pyroflame moved inside. "My Lord, I have discovered that Oceanus and her forces have reached our borders and are drowning our defenses." "Good work. Order the Vulcan-Firers to advance on the fields. Send my regards to lord Flayesu." An hour later, at the battlegrounds, the Pyroflame approached a Flamecaller named Flayesu and reported Volcanus's orders. "What good will seige do in a counter attack?" Falyesu asked. He nevertheless carried out the orders of the Master of Flame. He ordered the Firers to attack the water forces. The effect was the lava being hardened into a large wall of stone, causing a blockade. The watery minions were unable to erode the stones while deflecting the flaming lava. They retreated to the safety of their base. They soon were overrrun by flaming foes. The two forces collided, resulting in l=multiple stone piles cause by the heat and cold combined. At the end of the battle, fire had been victorious. The stones were to be smelted into lava. Flayesu was in charge of defending from and strike teams from Oceanus. The stone piles soon became heavier. Soon, they stood up and began attacking the fire elementals. Earth had come. Cragor the War-earth had sent his greatest forces to anhilate the fire. The flaming warrios soon began to follwo their orders and melt the earth around them. Soon, the earth that wasn't burtn began to open up, causing all of the elementals to be positioned on either solid or melting pillars. Flayesu saw the leiutenent of Earth, Earcas, summonig more pillars to create an island for the Earth base. Flayesu began to pur his fires into the newly-formed pit, creating a sea of flames. Fire walked across the falems as they did on land, they began to send waves after the Earthen warriors. They were wise as well as strong, for they began to hurl boulders into the fire-sea to smother the flames. Earcas was powerful, but not powerful enough. The two forces collided as he crossed over to their main base for reinforcements. He was met at the edge of the sea by Flayesu, who had just stepped out of the fire. A duel began. Earcas brought up pillars of earth to strike Flayesu, who melted them at each turn. He then turned the lava into fire and it pured over Earcas as if it was water. Earcas began to grow larger as the stone was added to him. Eventually, Flayesu noticed his folly and began to run away so fast, he left a trail of fire in his path. He was followed by Earcas until he too discovered his mistake. His feet had melded with the earth below him. He summoned an elemental to cut him free. He would have to deflect Flayesu's attacks until he was free. Flayesu began hurling fireballs at him, each one causing heat to coarse through him, although to no avail. Soon after Earcas was freed, he began to crack. The heat had dried him out. A single strike from Flayesu. He was in rubble. Flayesu stood before Volcanus twenty minutes later. "I have defeated both forces, my Lord." "You have done well, my leiutenant. Yet, there si still one problem." "What, my lord?" "A-" The walls began to collapse and Flayesu was thrown under debirs. |
| 04-22-2005, 11:42 PM | #14 |
Xiash, is that all you are going to enter? 4 parts will probably be too long. I'm going to clean up this thread and make it a little more official looking. Good luck to everyone who has entered so far and I'm waiting impatiently for more stories! |
| 04-22-2005, 11:50 PM | #15 |
I might enter part 2. I dunno this took em about ten minutes to write, so I'll probably do a rewrite later on. |