The Mansion

I can't help starting my stories with the, can I. Oh well. Be prepared for a really dark one this time folks. (I actually labored over this one, this isn't a first draft style thing)

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I have been imprisoned in a mansion.

I don't know how it happened, and I don't know why I'm here. I think I have memory loss. I don't know my name, and I can't remember any of my friend's. I only know one name - Alira. I don't remember anything about the name. I've searched my memory for clues, but I can't remember a single thing other then this mansion.

I look outside the darkened windows - black clouds have always covered the entire sky. They move unrealisticaly fast, as if strong winds eternally push them onwards. The same winds whip through the landscape surrounding the mansion, making rocks and grass fly through the air. The ground is mostly dead grass and dirt, with patches of grass here and there. There is a huge willow tree outside - the only thing that's out there. It's leaning to one side, and is constantly being hit by rocks. A few leaves still cling to its branches, like a man holding on to the edge of a cliff.

I now look inside the mansion. It is difficult to see inside. The mansion is divided into two parts when you stand in front of the door. In the middle there is a staircase that leads up to the second story. On the ground floor, there is a mirror to the left and right of the staircase. They are broken, both with a similar crack down the center. If one would walk up the stairs to the second story, they'd see a huge grandfather clock directly in front of them. Much like everything else in the house, the clock is broken, but it shows no marks of obvious damage. The time it displays is 12:00, and my intuition says it died at exactly midnight.

If I would walk up the stairs and turn left, I'd would find himself in a gloomy looking bedroom. There is a bed there but it looks out of use for at least ten years. There is a window on the far wall. It has been broken long ago, but there's no way to exit through it. If you go to the room to the right of the stairs, you'll see that the rooms mirror each other - same bed, same window, same drawer, same nightstand.

Then, continuing the tour of the house, one would go to the room to the right of the stairs on the bottom floor. It appears to be a play room of some sort, but the spiderwebs and the darkness from the windows dispells any illusion of happiness. Should one go to the remaining room left of the stairs on the ground floor, he would see a kitchen in a room that is the same layout as the play room, with basic kitchen necessities, but no food.

I have been in the house for seven days. I don't really know if it has truly been seven days - just that I have slept seven times. I've lost all track of time - then again, I never really had a track of time. I can't truly describe the horror I felt as the two other people who I had seen dissapeared. I didn't know their name, and they couldn't remember it either. I had been nearly dazed with the shock at the time. What was going to happen?

I tried to escape the mansion, oh I tried. I tried as hard as I could. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. I tried to break it down, but it must have been iron. I tried to break windows, but couldn't. I tried to throw knives at the windows - nothing happened. I tried to pry open the window's cracks - they didn't give. I tried to pry open the doors with silverware - the silverware just bent. Outside looks so close, yet so far. It is taunting me.

Now, I am certain of my fate. I no longer hide from my destiny. What else can I do?

And nearing the end of the seventh day, I peer into the mirror. I search within its depths ...answers. I hold out my hand to touch it, as if maybe it could whisk me away from here. I then notice something in the background... a dark figure with no face. I whirl around, but... nothing. I look back at the mirror. It gets closer...closer... it raises its hands...and...blackness. As everything fades away, only one clear thought goes through my head... "Alira..."...


...


I am slowly getting pieces of a memory. A memory of a man with a gun in a house...no...a mansion. He seems to have... locked the doors shut... He shoots...at everything... I see...broken windows... mirrors... a shattered clock... And only one body... a grown woman.

Who is this woman? Who is this man? And as I ask the questions, the answers slowly come...






In the darkness, I now know...

This woman has gotten her revenge.

oooooh, spooky. This would have been a better story if the "figure" was explained.

Thanks for the comment, I added a little bit. Does anyone have any comments? Come on folks, this ones short :P


Oh btws, this is still WIP and is subject to random/sequential edits to make it better. :D

Could you possibly explain the figure to me? I have my ideas, but none that make sense. What is the figure?

Well thats for you to figure out o.O (In other words, I have no clear idea)

But my ideas are something like this

1) The Grim Reaper (dun dun dunnn, this one's most obvious)

2) The ghost of Alira (oooOoOOoOoooOoOOOOOooo, kinda interesting)

3) Some type of mansion related ghost (It's not just your old ordinary mansion, thats for sure)

Really this is a story where you decide for yourself what truly happened. Heck, he might be just dreaming, or reliving a memory, or a cross between the two. It's your own interpretation.

It would be about7x better if the story was longer and the guy started to go insane, but he didn't think so. then the "figure" would be like in fight club and secret window, where he is imagining this thing, and he kills himself...

Looks like a story you should write to me :P

Although personally I like the insanity as much as the next guy, it might be a little hard to write from that perspective.


I added a proper ending, it's a little better then the last one (although I'm not sure about it though, because it might make the story a little too obvious...). I need FEEDBACK on it!! Rawr.

Hard to write from that perspective, no man, just borrow from "The Telltale Heart"

mhhh, good story, I like it, except maybe the last sentence. Very dark...
good job

Hmmm...really? I'll think about rewording it but I may just move on to my next work (it's going to be a POEM!!!)

Any suggestions? (about the sentence, or anything really)

Oh yeah and PS. I loved the tell tale heart. (But Poe was a literary genuis...)

Never Say Anything Bad About Yourself!!!

Bloody good story, I like that it's simplicity leads to more complex thoughts and that you leave so much to the reader's imagination. What ppl may not understand is that doing this actually makes for a spookier story because it's hard to play off someone's fears. I mean what could scare you more than your own thoughts?