| 04-30-2005, 06:26 PM | #1 |
We had Goblin's Log, Ghouls diary, Life of a alliance/horde hobo... Now here is mine Ghost (Neky) diary. Please keep in mind I know my grammar sucks and two some mistakes are there intentionaly. Note: Also this is a product of madness and boredom and does not state true facts. Ghost's (Neky) diary ...19/12 year twelve Dear diary my name is Robert Paulsen, and my life sux. My wife left me for a farmer (I think his name was Joe or something), also I just found out my son is gay, and my daughter ran with a hippie jungle troll (I knew his grass was too green to be good). Anyway I just wanted you to know that my life sux so much I feel like I need to quit so I decided to kill myself I will hang myself there in the garden, by my flowers they were my only true friends  . Wait that sux too I 'll just go and get drunk.21/12 dear dDIary I;m drunke so forgive ne for poor ...vomit stain... I can't live anymore with me so I'm going to kut my wrist and seeee if it reallu bleeds...scrabbling impossible to identify  ... You'll been happpy t2 nou it bleeds...blood stains... more blood stains... If I didn't know better I would think I was de....writing stops pencil leaves a mark over the paper (note: writer is apparently dead)... more blood stains... Prologue I look at my old diary now with great ghostly smile over my face. I was so stupid. I should've killed myself long time ago. It would be a lot easier for me. I had a crappy life. Since I died I had more adventures then ever ^_^ . I must say dying was good for me, dunno 'bout you but it sure helped me and I ain't lying. BTW You might wonder how did I managed to write all this after all I'm a freaking ghost...HEHE when I was with the Undead I found a book they called Necr.. Neko... whatever (I was never too good with Latin anyway), I call it Neky. It is a large book made from skin and you can write in it with any blood you find. Oh just to know, as a ghost can drink and use blood for writing cool ain't it :8. It is one of rare substance ghosts can lift. Anyway I remembered most of the stuff because ghosts have a good memory (how else would they keep a grudge after ten thousand years). But when it comes to dates it is much harder to remember since ghost are eternal. So I'll be using time counted from my death (it can be confusing when two or more ghost meet trust me :shivers:). Dead day 1 Okay I'm in my room and I look around .I see the fire is out and its cold. Brrrr... I've got the shivers. I tried to start the fire, but I can't grab the matches. I think I'm still drunk. I'll sleep on it. Dead day 2 I'm freaked out. I saw my body, and it ain't one of those nice hippie transcend experience. It just lies there and it ain't breathing... I tried to reanimate my body but it won't work my hands pass right through it. Damn... this most mean I'm a ghost :o . Dead day 3 Okay things just got weirder. I was visited by a young teenage girl. She was pretty but scarry in a way. She said her name was Death and that I'm a ghost...she has a talent of stating the obvious... I asked her why didn't she told me two days before. She said that she had a mass death situation, some war in Azeroth. Anyway she told me I have to avenge my family and then I can go to heaven. I told her I killed myself. Stupid move :\ . It seems she confused me for Joe the farmer (I was already smiling  ). But then she told me I have to go to hell cause those who commit suicide condemn their soul to eternal hell :o. She kissed me goodbye (the best part about her :smile_already ) and a large hole swallowed me o_O... I'm on highway to hell...Yeah highway to hell...Dead day 4 I woke up in hell. It wasn't as I pictured it. At all. Don't get me wrong there were volcanoes, hot lava even sulfur but the place was practically deserted o_O. Not a dead condemned soul to talk to. Okay to be honest there where few. Lucifer was still here and some cold, old man in shackels. He said he was a Lich. I asked him what that was and he told me that liches are some kind of demonic, necromantic servant to the Undead master the Lich King. Also I asked him why is the hell so deserted, lich just told me I better go and ask Lucifer. So I did. Lucifer told me he was renovating it wanted to make the place more modern, so newcomming souls could enjoy ( ) gas showers, ice spikes and other kinds of new-age torments. Also he mumbled something of a battle with heaven, most of his servants are outside preparing for his arrival. Dead day 5 I'm in hell. It looked pretty sad without the other people . But I had fun ^_^. I played chess and cards with the Lich, he won all the time. After his triumph he told me he can read other peoples minds (bastard tricked me  ). Using his powers he is in contact with a Death Knight named Arthas. Anyway this Arthas guy is supposedly to revive him and if I want I can tag along. I agreed to accompany him. Hell was too boring anyway. Lich told me Arthas will be reaching the summoning place sometime tomorrow, so I better go and prepare for the journey.Dead day 6 I'm waiting for Arthur to start summoning the Lich Kelizard (I think his name was Kelt 'Lizard but I'm not sure). That day we played Twister. I won :P. Three times ^_^. Then all of the sudden a large dark cloud appeared out of nowhere and pulled Kelizard up. I tried to hop on but it was to tough. Still I managed to cling to one of Lich's shackels. After a few minutes (it was more like days to me) I was back on solid earth ground. I started kissing the black blighted soil (ufff....that tastes bad ). You should have seen the look on Arthas's face when he saw me . Lich explained that he found me amusing and that I should be given a place in Arthas's army. Arthas was a bit confused but he soon ordered something to the nekymunsers. They casted some sticky spell on me. I felt like walking through mud. Then I realized I was a skeleton... --------------------Update-------------------------- Dead day 7 I dunno if you were paying attention but I'm a skelly now. Despite what they told you being a skelly ain't easy . They push you around literally, especially abominations (damn ugly critters ). Also you are on of the smallest and most expendable unit, so you always get the worst jobs. I wish I was a ghost again . The good side on being with the Undead is that you always have someone to talk to. Here I made a friend ^_^.His name is Mike and he is a shade. He told me he was a farmer (which wasn't my favorite profession BTW) but he joined Kel' Thuzard and was quickly promoted to a shade. I asked him if he can see any ghosts. He says he can, but there isn't a single ghost left now, since the necromancers (thats their name) raised like a thousand corpses last night. It seems that Arthas wants to go to some strange old continent where lots elves live, but Kel' Thuzard decided they must summon Archimud first and to achieve that they need the Deamon portal orcs use ( ).I told Mike I like elves, and he asked how do like them cooked or raw. Not the answer I was hoping, so I decided not to ask the same question twice... Anyway tomorrow we'll fight orcs... Mike ain't too happy. He says he doesn't like orcs. He likes Taurens better than orcs cause orcs taste like sh*t... Note to myself: Mike only likes edible things. I hope he doesn't like me too much ( ;) ) Dead day 8 Early this morning we were awaken by a howls of Frostvyrms. Arthas says they are hungry so he decided to give them a few skelly's to eat. We were to form a line so Frosty's could just pick whoever they like :\ . Fortunately I wasn't picked out ^_^. Arthas told me that one of Frostvyrm said I smelled too bad to eat. Bless my stench ^_^. I'll never bath again. When it was almost noon we marched out and attacked a orc camp. In beginning we were stronger and kicked their ass. I even killed two peons . Of course lot of skellies fall, but Arthas reanimated them. Then more orcs arrived and Kel 'Thuzard used Dark Summon to transport us back to base. Then they sent Mike to see how many bases were there. He found five bases. And the one with the Demonic Portal thingy was heavily guarded. Arthas was wounded so he needed time to heal (or whatever Death Knights do). I was happy Mike came back. Kel' Thursday told us that we should guard the base for possible intruders. Finally a job that I like Dead day 8/9 Somewhere during the night Mike heard noise and went to investigate. He returned screaming “ the Orcs are here!!!... Orcs are here”. As always I followed Mike. We hid behind an altar but Arthas found us and ordered me to go to the front and fight. I refused to go so he called me an insolent something and started chasing me all the way to the front. Phew! He didn't catch me, but I was tricked into going to the front , so I had nothing else to do but fight. A green maniac with a axe started chasing me. I ran and ran and ran.Then I just got tired and attacked him. One hit to the head and he was already dead. Man that rhymes . Anyway we (Undeads) were cutting our way through the orcish bastards ^_^. A few ghoul accompanied me in my fight. I remember killing three more of those axe wielding maniacs but then I saw some trippy troll mage casting some weird spells. “Take that you daughter-stealing-podsmoking-freak”, I screamed at that stupid mage. He tried casting some spell but it was too late for him. Using my sword I cutted the bastard in half. Then I saw more trolls and suddenly my thirst for blood only increased. From that point on I don't remember how many orcs I killed. All I remember is a sort of a cloud hanging over my head telling me to fight. When I was myself again I realized that we already destroyed three bases. We cut through the orcish bastards like a knife through hot butter... I was hungry. My ghoulish friends suggested me to eat a few corpses that were laying there. I listened to their suggestion, but it was pretty in vain. The meat just passed through my bones. I remembered now I'm a skeleton I don't need food. At the end of the day three orcish bases fell. There were only two left. I liked those odds better. Arthas commended our zeal. He even mentioned me as a “worthy helper”, that was flattering but he should have give me a week off :P . Lossy mtf. |
| 04-30-2005, 07:07 PM | #2 |
| 04-30-2005, 07:18 PM | #3 |
| 04-30-2005, 09:20 PM | #4 |
| 04-30-2005, 10:31 PM | #5 | |
Quote:
The mistake has been corected oh great king ;) *jakuza tone of voice* forgivness please ;) What areas? I always heed a good suggestion. @Jet Pack As for the song o_O you listen to AC/DC at this time... Mehh I was just looking at the lines when I thought: "Oh well I know it is old and used up but whatever... Highway to hell..." Those who read carefully will realize I was making a slight parody of modern stuff like Fight Club (His name is Robert Paulsen, His name is Robert Paulsen...), Sandman etc.  I'll continue when I get inspiration. Tnx 4 feedback ^_^ . |
| 05-01-2005, 08:05 PM | #6 |
| 05-02-2005, 11:55 AM | #7 |