Poem: MemoryFlash. Hack, slash. Ripping flesh

I'm alone
Withering to bone
But yet I roam. This earth. this land.
I pass by.
Only the touch,
Will take your soul up high.
Nowhere to put my lust.
Since that too turned to dust, to ash
As I, on earth crash. Ripping flesh.
Memory Flash. Hack, slash.
You're dead. I envy.
No ending.
Where are you heading?
Keep forgetting. My skin shedding.
Bones Redding. Love is what you are getting.
I don't, I envy.
Cause my love withered to bone. To dust.
To mere rust. Nowhere to put my lust.
I'm walking disgust.
I Leek. I reek. I infest. Get no rest.
Your dead fast.
Im insane. My insanity reign.
Ironicly lives bane. Like deaths rain.
I want to be my own casualty.
But you are more likely. more Quickly. More nicely.

The idea is good. You abuse of easy rhymes (wtf "reign" and "rain") but this is not focused on rhymes. Actually, half of it rhymes, it has absolutely no vocal assonances if you try to read it, no search on litterary figures, no equilibrium... nothing.
What exactly is this? It's not a poem, it's not a song (anyway try to read it loud it sounds like donald duck telling everyone what he had for breakfast with the mouth full...), there is no story. This is... nothing!

Precicely. you got it

Well, if this is nothing, why posting it here?....

Because i love you. and i wanted you in a thread talking to me.
So i posted this weird crappy poem. in the hope you talk to me.

No, its simply related. I know i have a different taste then most/all people. I really liked that poem. I also hate most famous poems or anything related to "smosh love poems" and poems about how horrid my little stupid depressing life is(Stupid Teenager), i like to write weird stuff up.

But ill remake it. maby you'll like it now???
I would love too read your reply. you know all these expensive words ive never heard off.

The undead Envy.

I Envy
Simply because you've got things I cant attain.
You feel. You heal. I steal
You are capable of walking through deaths lane.
But not me. No I'm not the same.

I Envy
Simply because you've got loves little game.
You love. But that's though.
For me impossible, a part I cant regain.
Only for you, Cause I'm not dead but slain.

I Envy.
Because that's all I can feel.
I Envy.
Simply because its better then to be deaths dealer.


Better now?

What my inner nerd was screaming while reading this: Pretty bird.

Why: My inner nerd has ADD and when he reads something that good he thinks of birds. Nice job.

Overall: 9/10 i wanted some animal penises shoved in peoples ears.

Yes, it's a lot better, and easier to read. :)

Does it?