Some Pirates

"Well, will ye look at that," Reddiebeard said quietly. He curled his scope back up and smiled. The perfect chance for pillage; a lone spanish cruiser, carrying some sort of cargo tied down with a large blanket on top of it, making it concealed.

"I see it." Caralos, an old spanish mercenary with a mean-looking eyepatch stated with confidence. For some reason, throughout all the wars Spain had been in, he wasn't dead. Probably close to dead, as he was quite an old fellow.

"Should we ready the cannons?" Caralos stated after turning to his captain.

"No; I'm thinking more of a sneak attack." Caralos was clearly dismayed by Reddie's reaction. He doesn't like sneak attacks; partly because that's how he lost his eye.

"I smell trap." Caralos had a strange intuition about these things, but Reddie was a headstrong fellow. Reddie reassured him that a lone spanish freighter could not withstand his war frigate's trained crew of ruffians, the infamous 'Kraken Slayers'.
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Three boats full of quiet, darkly-dressed pirates silently floated towards the cruiser. They silently crept up the sides of the boat.

The sound of rock hitting rock awoke the guards.

"You hear that?"

Suddenly, a pirate with an eyepatch and a necklace full of skulls bumping together crept from the shadows. He had a 36 inch saber at his side, and a long, thick red beard. The guards, shocked by the pirate's sudden appearance, began to reach for their pistols, when the figure moved suprisingly quick for so much pirately clothing. The two guards screamed, and raised their hands to see that the pirate had broken their fingers using the side of his saber.

Then the deck was filled with ruffians and brutes, slaughtering the guard. Reddiebeard walked towards the cargo, killing all the guards who got in his way. The battle was over fairly quickly.

One of the guards, demented and near death, started laughing. The pirates all stood behind Caralos, who stood in front of the booty and next to Reddiebeard. He cut the ropes that held the sheet over the cargo, and his eyes opened wide.

Instead of revealing a good-sized chest, there stood a firing squad of around 40 spanish navy-men. They were lined up in rows, guns loaded and facing the crew. Their captain also had a thick red beard.

"I told you." Caralos stated.

Writing Skill 15/20

It doesn't jump out at me and shout "I'M AN UBER WRITER" but then again, it doesnt say "EYE CNT RGHT NETHING" either. It's probably because it's so short. I gave you an estimated score.

Character Development 7/15

There isn't much development of the character's character here. However, there are some good descriptions of them, so I brought up your score for that.

Creativity 6/10

Well it's based off of puzzle pirates, but I'll pretend I didn't know that ;)

Descriptions 7/15

The people's descriptions are pretty good, but just realized that you didn't describe the boats at all, similarly you totally ignored the oceans. Quite honestly they could be in the desert for all the description of the ocean there is: I only see one word that hints at it: floated.

Grammar 10/10

No errors.

Flow 9/10

Yep, clear as the deser- err, ocean that their sailing through.

Tilt 15/20

It was overall pretty good and I liked it. The ending was cliche but it was funny nonetheless :P Good job here, heh.

Overall 69/100

what my inner nerd was screaming while reading this: *chuckles*

why: pretty good. i liked it. reminds me of a RP pvp guild in WOW. good work

overall: 9/10 (very good. my inner nerd is chuckling)

I love your stories, short, sweet and to the point. Unlike some other writers =P

This story was written on the awesome story of pirates, which made it even cooler. It did however have a few problems.

The correct word would be lone as it is a ship that is all alone, not a ship for taken temporary use, although it could be. If it is a loaned ship instead of a lone ship it would need more of information to confirm this, or why random pirates would know private transactions such as a loan =P

Overall this was a good story 7.5/10, I liked it but I don't it's just missing important descriptions. Look at Badfurday's story "The last bomb" to see a short story with good descriptions.

Oh; sorry, I'll edit that right now.

My rating (yay!):

Before you read my rating, know that I use different scales in order to have a global rating out of 100 that takes in consideration all important parts more than the others.

Script: 10/20 — Cliché to death, short, but clear.

Descriptions: 6/20 — Jetpack told you the right story to look at ^_^

Imagination: 11/15 — At least you have a bit of imagination. Good point.

Writing skill: 7/15 — You have average skill. Nothing excellent, but nothing bad either. Take more time on descriptions maybe, and delete some useless parts of the story.

Action: 5/10 — I feel like giving a 5/10 for action. That's all. Hah!

Humor: 7/10 — I did not burst out laughing, but it was a surprising ending.

Transposition of the author: 5/10 — Who knows? This is too short to rate on transpo' so I give you 5/10 not to penalize you


Global rating: 51/100 — Arrrr! You just arrchieved to pass the 50! You now arrrr a wrrriterrr! Lemme reach that stupid parrrrot... hes gone again... whateverrrr, when I give a 50+ marrrrk, it means "wow that's good but needs more worrrrk". Arrrrr!