| 01-21-2006, 11:14 PM | #1 |
This was stolen from a story I wrote on an RP board. This is not an RP; it's just told in that manner. I hope you get at least a chuckle out of it  Part 1: The Magic Learnageness. 88888888 walks into the deserted classroom. He looks around the desolate area, which looks more desolately empty then something super empty, which is a lot of emptiness, by the way. Dustballs and dustbasketballs float by, suspened by puppetstrings that were created by the profressor because he wanted to create the illusion of emptiness, which doesn't really work because dustbocheballs are not empty. 88888888 is ubertall, which means that his head is ALWAYS scraping the ceiling, no matter how tall the ceiling is. This also means that he can kick you in the face no matter where your face is. So you better watch out, or he'll kick your face in. Wait, I just said that. Anyways, his long black dark pitch black night colored dark side of the moon not light not shiny not not dark BLACK hair was so long and so thick enough that if you were in the middle of it, you would probably be asphixiated. This isn't actually because it was thick at all, it's because he just has one long strand of hair thats about 5 feet across. He constantly had this horrible grimace on his face for no particular reason. As if all this wasn't intimidating enough, he was uber... no, I already said that. As if all this wasn't intimidating enough, his hair... no no no. As if all this wasn't intimidating enough, he had these HUGE SHOES. I mean, you think you've seen big shoes before, those are NOTHING. NOTHING!!! They were twice as long as he was ubertall, meaning he was kicking everyone in the room's face in no matter how he positioned himself. This doesn't have to do with the length at all so much as the fact that it is physically impossible to have something so long because it breaks physics laws, so the shoes logically must be everywhere at the same time. This includes your face. Anyways. 88888888 walked into the desolate room full of dusttennisballs and sat down. The teacher came out of a corner and quitely mumbled "i am mishter bob, hear too teasch yew aboutsh the ... uh, what was eye supposhed too teach ewe about? 88888888 kicked his face in and then said, "MAGIC!! TEACH ME MAGIC!" (sidenote. 88888888 isn't actually yelling here. This is how he normally talks. You'll see him yell later on. "o yesh" said Mr. Bob. "upon that topeek. eye no musch (pronounced mushkionjolx, except not with an -ionjolx) aboot the shacred artsh of mageek... butt it ish not all for all to no. showerver..." Here Mr. Bob closed his eyes and dissapeared in a firey ball. Then he came back. 88888888 kicked him in the face. (He had no choice). "oofsh" quoth he. "what wash tshat four? anshwayz, i hafsh dishckernd thash ewe are shtrong enough two undershgo tshe shtraining requiredsh..." "What training?" asked 88888888. "their ish none!" sez him. "shere you go!" and with that, he gave 88888888 his magic powers. Then he promptly died of a brain implosion thanks to a screw up of quantum physics. 88888888 walked out of the room and started blasting things with his bare hands. He then died of Misuse of Magic, section A, clause C, subsection 4:1506, line 28 where it clearly states you cannot just go around blasting stuff with your bare hands. 88888888 obviously wasn't aware that magic had laws, and Mr. Bob wasn't even a good enough teacher to teach him that. Mr. Bob wasn't even a teacher. In fact, for technicallities sake, Mr. Bob didn't even exist, but I'll go into that later. Stay tuned, I mean, tuned to your internet, assuming that's possible for Part 2: The More Magiclearness, Including Rulelearningness and Ressurectingyourselfwhenyou'realreadydeadness. Until next time, when I'll actually try to write something mildy funny! |
| 01-22-2006, 03:52 AM | #2 |
| 01-22-2006, 05:48 AM | #3 |