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And the winner is...Red Horizon!

02-09-2006, 11:36 AM#1
KingGigli
Congratulations!

For more info on runner ups and special thanks check the front page article posted by Whitehorn!

STORY: RED HORIZONS

Jelaine, last child of the Kun Family was left behind when drought came in. A royal family with social bonds far stretched sacrificed their youngest , abandoning in the house that became a ruin not long after they left. Not a goodbye, only a harsh ride out of the view of the little, 6 year old child. A destination unknown....a richer and more exotic world for them...

Tainted as the landscape Jelaine fitted well...except he was a human, not a sandpebble...filled with emotions, not knowing what they meant
His early pet, a desert cat was his only help. He loved it intensely. Years passed and the apathy for other beings other than his fellow pet grew while he was unaware of it, all alone in the ruinic house and its its cellars filled with preserved food. Jelaine was a very thin boy because of it..but he would care about it more. Hunting and collecting food became second nature as he grew and wandered the bare landscape....he left the familiar house. His old-growing companion mostly ran ahead, scouting and enjoying the glanzes of the sun swirling as little dots on the dunes they crossed. But not the beauty he longed for, the beauty he knew of when his family was still around him .It took him and he began to create his own idea about what the world was like.....A glittering red plain with nothing more than a new and dissapoiting look at a red horizon time after time. The dunes were immense and so were their valleys..

The day he stumbled on a poor old man showed what he turned into ...a vengeful youngster, apathic to human beings. In a rage he stabbed the nomad to the ground ... and with the tasted of more he travelled to a more civilized part, where is coming was only a beginning....a revenge he payed with people's blood..even redder than the glittering dots he saw year by year....


-Submitted by Warnicro
02-09-2006, 11:53 AM#2
TheReaper
well, congratulations

I was sorta hoping he would win, a nice story indeed
02-09-2006, 09:22 PM#3
Undead_Lives
Congrats, Warnico.
Hm, his story was short...maybe I should make mine shorter next time...
02-09-2006, 09:25 PM#4
Whitehorn
It's not the length that counts, its the quality. I could have just submitted 'Whitehorn' and won, but I had to give you all a chance.
02-10-2006, 04:26 AM#5
Hemlock
Well I thank the judges for reading the story, and I am pleased to see that it generally falls in place with the people :)
02-10-2006, 04:31 AM#6
Undead_Lives
Quote:
Originally Posted by Whitehorn
It's not the length that counts, its the quality. I could have just submitted 'Whitehorn' and won, but I had to give you all a chance.
I was sorta joking...
However, with longer length, it seems I seem to get side tracked, which lowers the quality of it...
02-10-2006, 09:11 AM#7
Whitehorn
I think it was Challis who said to me 'everyone who can't write decided to write epics'. Which, to me, sums up the problem. Length does not compensate for poor quality.
02-10-2006, 05:58 PM#8
Noxer
and how many stairs did challis fell from?...
Thats like THE most stupid qoute ive ever read, i love longs stories. short ones annoy me. There is always a lack of depth and a lack of background.

Warnico :) good for you!!!
02-12-2006, 10:41 AM#9
Challis
If you can't convay the feeling, mood and plot of your story without rambling on far past a length that any half-sane reader can be bothered to read then you've failed.

If your story is engaging and is indeed a long story, then it goes without saying it should be a long story.

Warnico's story told you everything you needed to know about the characters, location and situation, and because he was to the point, he retained the mood and atmosphere that a lot of the others lacked.
02-12-2006, 02:40 PM#10
johnfn
Yes.


In addition, writing a short story is better then writing a long story for people still working on their writing, because it allows you to focus on character development and descriptions and mood and everything and get it done, and get it done properly most likely, instead of spreading it out and then losing it.
02-12-2006, 09:53 PM#11
Ignitedstar
Hmmm. KingGigli, I thought that you were suppose to put the winning story into the thread that says it won. :)
02-13-2006, 01:42 AM#12
KingGigli
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ignitedstar
Hmmm. KingGigli, I thought that you were suppose to put the winning story into the thread that says it won. :)

Oh you sly fox, Ill edit my post now.