A Way Back To The Battle

A Way Back To The Battle

As Tauston charged into battle, a barrage of arrows was volleyed from behind him. He raised his shield to just below his eyes and drew back his iron hammer, preparing to swing. At that moment he began to feel very cold and it seemed as if his ribs were being ripped from his flesh. Then there was darkness, nothing but darkness…

Tauston woke up on a small island in the middle of a dimly lit lake. He noticed multiple beams of golden light coming from above. It was then that he noticed that this island and lake rested within the depths of a cave. He gazed out looking for the shore but there was nothing but murky green water. Tauston sat down and rummaged through his possessions and found nothing of much use other than his hearthstone, which would teleport him to his hometown. It was the only way he could find out right now, but he had to aid his people and get back to the battle.

The surface of the water began to stir and a figure began to immerge. Tauston began backing up but tripped and found himself crawling on his back trying to escape this figure. Tauston had never liked water, when he was a child he watched his mother drown in the lake deep in the caves of the Waling Caverns. It was then that he saw the figure. It was tall and wore a white dress; it then began to walk into the light. Tauston could feel tears filling his eyes when he relized what the figure was. It was the reanimated corpse of his mother.

It stepped forward and in his mother’s same loving voice said, “Tauston, you know where we are. I need you to remember this place, remember these caves. You know the way out, and only then can you use this.” She placed a small red shard in his hands and smiled. He gazed into her half decayed face, but then a cold wind began. This wind created a loud wailing and his mother disintegrated like dust in the wind.

Tauston stood to his feet and wiped the tears from his eyes and looked around. “The Wailing Cavers,” he said to himself. He looked around the island for the large green rock that he had sat on as a child. He spotted it then walked over and pushed it to the side revealing a chute that was made entirely out of a slick rock that had ridges carved in to get up the chute without sliding down. He then took a deep breath and jumped in. Everything was a blur as he sped through the brown chute then into the darkness below. He picked up speed until he saw a light at the end of the chute, then he remembered something and violently grasped for something to stop himself, but it was too late. He sped out of the tunnel into the air. Normally he would have grabbed something so that he could land on the path right below the end of the chute, but instead he was soaring in the air toward the large thorn patch.

While Tauson was in the air, he remembered the shard his mother had given him. He snatched it out of his pocket and held it tightly and then that horrible cold and painful feeling was back. This time thing did not go black though, he seemed to stop in mid air and the world began to swirl into one big mix of colors. These colors continued to swirl but then changed and Tauston found himself about 10 feet above the battle he had been drawn from before. Then gravity took its toll and he plummeted to the ground. He stood up, brushed himself off, and charged back into the battle.


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I should start writing thing in Word then importing them to here, that took forever to right.

FEEDBACK WANTED!

It was okay. Slightly better then your two previous. One thing that bothered me was that you said that his mother died, then in less then two sentences you were like "surprise! it's his mother". I find it weird that he doesn't show any shock when he sees his mom, just sadness.

The fast thinking with the shard also seemed a little too fast for me. Thats subjective of course but I like stuff that characters do to make sense and not just be totally random.

I think that you shouldn't restrict yourself to WoW as this would have been a lot better if you would have made up something other then a 'hearthstone' or 'wailing caverns', or so on.

Also, try planning out a story. Doesn't take too long, just write down thoughts.

may I suggest you finish a story instead of posting part 1 of random things and expecting us to comment on an unfinished story, as your other two were? :P

That's a good idea. Of course it takes a long time to write a full story, and most people (such as you :D) don't have long enough of an attention span to read it all.

yes this is a post by johnfn. 2nd today O_o

well at least there are some people who will read it, certainly more people will read all of a story as opposed to half a chapter.

Ok, one major thing you have to work on.
DESCRIBE YOUR CHARACTERS.
Seriously, we don't even know if this Tauston guy is a human, orc, night elf, or WHATEVER.
Second, your story was much too rushed. Slow down.

That was a cool story needs more work but its cool.