The Path

Here's the first 8 sections of my newest writing. I already have a good ending for it, so stay tuned


The Path


Part 1


1

Woke up at 8. Got ready for the day at 8.5 and was at work by 9. Finished at 16. I wrote this entry at about 18.8 before sleeping.


2

Woke up at 7.9. Got ready for the day at 8.4 and was at work by 9. Finished at 16. I wrote this entry at about 18.8 before sleeping.


3

Unique event today. Work closed early at 14. The Leader declared war on Territory 4. Fingers not as stressed from typing. Got home at 16. Did nothing between arriving home at 14.5 and sleeping at 19.

4

Woke up at 7.8. Got ready for the day at 8.5 and was at work by 9. Work has changed to typing war related propoganda. Got home at 16. I wrote this entry at about 18.8 before sleeping.

5

Unique event today. On moving sidewalk to work, man passed me folded paper. Pocketed. Haven't opened yet. Woke up at 7.9. Got ready for the day at 8.5 and was at work by 8.9. Got home at 16. I wrote this entry at about 18.8 before sleeping.

6

Opened paper today, away from cameras. It showed a girls face, but it was not a photograph. Landscape was visible in the background. She has a mysterious smile.

7

Woke up at 8. Got ready for the day at 8.5. While walking to work, I did not see smiles on the face of those who past like the paper. Got to work at 9. Got home at 16. I wrote this entry at 18.8 before sleeping.

8

Unique event today. Leader declared that typists would be working another hour. Woke up at 7.9. Got ready for the day at 8.5 and was at work by 9. Got home at 17. While passing slave section, saw woman with mysterious smile. She looked me in the eyes before two armed guards brung her to the execution chambers. I wrote this entry at 18.8 before sleeping.

1

Unique event today. After waking at 7.8 and getting ready at 8.5, saw man walking down street. Had mysterious smile similar to woman from photograph. He looked at me as he passed. Was at work by 9. Got home at 17. I wrote this entry at 18.8 before sleeping.

2

Unique event today. After waking at 8.1 and getting ready at 8.6, saw different man with same mysterious smile walking down street. He passed to me a folded piece of paper as he was walking past me down the street. After work I opened the paper. It read as follows:

Wait until 18.0 4day
Walk to Street 192
Turn left on Street 148
Turn right on Street 27
Enter Bakery 128a

3

Waiting for 4day. Until then, passed streets with mysterious smile.

End part 1

Interesting, very gray and intriguing. I'm guesing 1984?

You and Death can both read my mind >_>

I did just read 1984, but the only real concept it shares is that of distopia.

Yes very intriguing, found a small contradiction though.
You said you arrived at 16, and 14.5, which isn't really possible...unless you state that you went somewhere and came back home.
I'll rate it when it's finished.

Oh yeah good catch. I have no idea why I did that and fixed it.

Btw, did anyone figure out who the woman with the mysterious smile is?

If it has something to do with 1984, I wouldn't know cause I haven't read it :P
But the woman in the picture and the woman to be killed are one and the same right? As for who she is...some kind of spy from another country?

*resists urge for cynical comment*

and no I have no idea, post the rest john ^^

... and stop being so active its freaking me out

There's actually some activity in this forum now, so don't make him stop! :P
EDIT: Oh and Taur you might want to update your sig, the Avatar RP is now dead...lol.

I concluded part 1 (which wasn't much more really)

Part 2 will be in your typical 3rd person perspective. Woot!

Why did you go and start at 1 again?
And on the writing...ze cliche:
"Ah, the plot thickens"

I'm guessing the numbers are the numbers of the day. 4day is 'tomorrow' in the story, and each week is 8 days, so it started at 1 again. Cool.

Interesting history.
The woman in the picture its... the MonaLisa! Ja!...
¿Is her?

You got it! But next time... please don't post on old (2 month old this time) topics. Thanks :)

Ah i see, the mona lisa. It has a lake and some trees in background as so i recall. I remember asking people to draw the mona lisa on a wc3 game called art competition, and loads of them was all like "wtf" cos they didn't realise it was a joke. As allways on wc3 art games, someone drew a penis.

Oh, forgeting penises for a second (as hard as it is for me) , the story is quite unique in style, but i can forsee it getting dull if all the entries are one line long. I like the idea of mystery that must be worked out, though, and if there are pleanty of those thingey-bobs, should be ok.