Lost Memories

Lost Memories

Decades ago, there was five stones of worship. The first was the most precious and the most powerful, it was called Shintrobal, which loosely translated, means “Stone of Power.” People came from far and wide to gain its knowledge and see its power. Many built houses around this giant stone of worship. Many believed you could connect to the Gods, using this stone, which many used to appeal to their deities. The second, third, fourth, and fifth stones were all used to keep the power of Shintrobal in it. These lesser stones were all called Tribtrobal, which loosely translated means “Guardian Stones.” All five of the stones are scattered around the entire earth, but their power remains as one.
Many cities, inhabited by humans, live around these stones at the present time. Most cities drain the energy output to enhance their magical abilities. Now magical warfare over these stones is rampant, and many are killed in the process.
Now is the time of retribution. The stones want their power back.
The humans have heard the stones anger. They assemble a team to destroy the opposing creatures.

This is their story.


Chapter 1: The Hero Rises.

The screams of warfare. He could hear them all. He could see everything. “Bring it down!” “Sir, it is too strong.”
“I know soldier, I know.” he replied with doubt.
He looked into the vast open fields of green grass stained with the blood of his soldiers. Trees were all around this open field, and and the soldiers inside, fighting a beast, a massive beast.
“What will you do Captain?”
“We shall retreat for now, but we will destroy this thing.”
“Retreat!” the soldier ran into the battlefield screaming.
'This beast we are fighting, it can't be killed' he thought.
His name was Josthor, Captain of The White Claws, a mercenary group dedicated to one thing, to find and destroy all creatures of the stone. He had gray hair, and blue eyes, matching the color of his armor. He stood tall, six feet three inches to be exact, into the air. He held his sword, The Avenger, with pride. He knew it symbolized a leader, and a strong will to win. The White Claw have trained for years and are finally ready to defeat the stone's warriors. But not today. It seems this stone giant is too powerful for them to handle alone with the weapons they have.
“Sir!, he is killing our wounded and slaughtering the retreating.” the soldier shouted.
“How many of our troops are left?”
“One hundred, approximately, out of one hundred and fifty.”
The stone giant raised its massive foot, and slammed it to the ground, squishing three soldiers. The sheer impact sent waves of vibrations in all directions. Men fell to their knees. “The mens moral is weak, hurry the rest of them with the retreat.” The soldier, obviously Josthor's second in command, ran off, hurrying the others.
'This can't be happening' he thought. 'We must call to the aid of the Sorcerers'.

***

He awoke to find himself dreaming. It was still dark out. 'Did that really happen?' It couldn't of happened. He lost fifty of his men, to one horrible beast. 'That doesn't sound right, my men are trained well, we are strong and can defeat any foe'.
He rose up, and looked around. 'This isn't my room'. A sudden feeling of shock hit him, as he got out of his bed. He realized that this wasn't even his house!
He looked around, to see nothing but other rooms, filled with his men. Some were wounded and other just fine, but he still had the feeling of shock and overwhelming. “Soldier, what happened last night?”
“Don't you remember captain?” the soldier questioned.
“No, but I think I have vague memories.”
“We were assaulted by the stone giant, and many were killed”.
His blue eyes widened as he heard the grim thought. It wasn't a dream, it was real. He knew, that for the first time he had been beaten.
'I'm not strong enough' he thought. 'If that thing could beat me, then there are plenty others who can as well'. 'I need to get stronger, I need more aid'.
He walked back to his bed, and laid down once again. He thought all throughout the night, 'I was beaten'.

***

Josthor was sitting in his chambers, thinking. The stone giant assaulted the town he was supposed to protect. He didn't get paid, and he couldn't pay off his men. Lots of them were hurt, and required magical healing. It seems the giant destroyed a town that surrounded one of the Tribtrobal stones. He wondered why it would attack the town. 'It didn't seem evil, nor did it seem good, simply neutral. If it was neutral, why did it attack?' he thought. 'It seems the creature was protecting something, but what?'
He couldn't figure out why it attacked the town, but he knew one thing, he had to kill it. 'The skin of the beast was too strong for arrows, and melee weapons did little damage to make a difference'. 'I need siege weapons to defeat this beast'. 'Where can I get such weapons?'
He wander out of his chambers, and into the halls. Men were walking throughout the halls. There seemed to be something happening, as many people were rushing towards the outside of the halls. Josthor followed them in hopes to find out what was going on. They led him outside of the fortress he was staying in. It seems there was a crowd of men standing in front of the massive building. The fortress is surrounded by many houses and merchant districts. The town seemed to be a big trading district.
The men in front of the fortress were well equipped. It seemed they were ready for battle. He wondered why they were here. 'Why is twenty, or so, soldiers standing in front of this fortress?'
Josthor tried to listen in on the conversation between the leader and a trader.
“I hear this village can hire mercenaries to fight the creatures attacking many towns.” the leader of the mercenaries said.
“We do, but I don't control that.” the village folk replied. The mercenaries leader walked forward, and made a hand motion to his men. He walked past the villager and continued towards the fortress. He looked over and saw Josthor. He stopped and walked over to him.
“You. You looked well equipped, do you lead this village?” the leader said.
“What is it to you?” Josthor replied.
“I want to know who will hire us to kill the creatures assaulting many villages around here.”
“I know nothing”
“Where is the leader of this village then?”
Josthor raised his hand, and pointed into the fortress. The mercenary leader made another signal to his men, and walked into the fortress with his soldiers.
Josthor didn't have a good feeling about these men. 'I have a feeling that not only will I have to fight the creatures attacking the towns, but I might have to fight with other mercenaries as well.'
He followed the leader back into the fortress and walked back into his chambers. He closed the door, and sat down onto his bed.
The door opened, and Josthor's second in command came in. “Sir, it seems we have a problem.”
He got up, and followed his second in command. He led Josthor into the main chambers of the fortress, where the mercenaries stood. They were talking to the village leader. He entered the room, and all of the soldiers immediately looked at him. The leader of the group turned around and walked towards Josthor once again. “Why didn't you tell me you were the leader of another mercenary group?”
“I don't give out all of my information to every person I see.” Josthor replied.
“Well it seems to be your downfall.” the leader said. “You are obviously a threat to me and my men, and to my pay.”
The leader reached for his sword, and Josthor ran forward, grabbing the leader and throwing him to the ground. The leader got up and unsheathed his weapon. Josthor did the same. They stood ready to kill each other. “Hold it!” they heard.
They both turned around to find the leader of the village walking towards them. “I will not have blood spilled onto the floors of my chambers. If you want to fight, take it outside, or I will have both of you arrested and killed.”
The mercenary leader looked back at Josthor, and moved his head towards the exit. They both walked outside, and got their distance. “Are you ready to die?” the leader said.
“Sure I guess.” Josthor replied.
Villagers gathered around to see the fight that was about to happen.
The leader rushed forward, with his sword held high. A flash of bright light hit him. Blood filled the air, and gravity took its place, and brought the blood to the ground. The leaders eyes were white, and he was still leaning forward. Silence was in the air. Josthor was underneath the leader, with his blade stabbed right into his opponents chest. He removed the sword, and walked away. The corpse of the once leader fell to the dirt ground. Josthor walked to the nearest field of grass to clean the blood off of his blade. The villagers looked in awe, at the speed of the gray haired man. It seems there was more to Josthor then many saw.
He walked back to the corpse, looked at it and said, “There is only room for one pair of mercenaries, and they are The White Claw.”
He sheathed his sword, and walked back into the fortress, to find his chambers once again.

Not bad, but there were a lot of grammatical mistakes. The two main problems were use of quotation marks and the use of commas.
As for the story itself, it would have been better if you slowed down, and gave more description. There are so many questions, here are some on just the stones.
What do they look like?
How large are they?
Where did they come from?
And there are more, so try to think of questions you could answer while writing.
Nonetheless, a decent story. 5/10 from me.

Answers the size question. This basically leaves you to use your imagination.

When I use ' ' it is Joshor's thoughts.

I tend to rush things in the beginning, and slow it down once I have the beginning over with.

Ok I didn't remember that sentence, but still, that's just a general description..
Anyways your grammar using quotation marks is wrong.
Here's what you did:
Here's how it should be:
'I'm not strong enough,' he thought, 'If that thing could beat me, then there are plenty other who can as well. I need to get stronger, I need more aid.'
You need to use a comma, and sentences don't break the quote.

I am just using this story as a warm up anyways. I didn't like the story line. I will be writing another, hopefully more descriptive and slower. So check out that one soon.

Will do, hope to see it soon.