Shadow of the Demon: Prologue+1

"It's almost done! for years we studied the demons, shadows, and Negative energies! I think we have it now!" (Next Page) "We found an unwilling test subject... no matter. He is a demon, it took alot of men to bring him down and disable him. Their deaths shall not be in vain!" (Next Page) "We are beginning. We 9 shall make the ultimate creature!" (Next Page) "We've set up the iron maiden, chains, magics, tomes, runes, circles, and everything else. We begin now..." (Next Page) "Somtin hs gne wong! Argh, he is escpin! I'm ntr sir if wi migt conten hin! *#OF GNC*# %Y(* H#RJDH*' (Too bloody, cannot be read) (The diary has nothing left in it)


"Yes, come. Chains shall not hold you, magics, runes, their cages and iron maidens, you shall destroy. They are in the illusion of safety. It's time Nireztu..."
*BAM* The iron maiden's door flew off, chains, clanking off the walls. Out steps, nothing. But the shadow of the demon.
"Where is this place!" roared Nireztu. Large cracks emitted energy from the ground. Nireztu suddenly felt more calm and focused when he floated over the faint blue cracks. For some reason he knew that he needed Negative energy, and this was it. More springs of it were further down a deep tunnel. *Drip, Drip, Drip* Slime oozes through the walls as Nireztu floats through the cavern. Strange symbols and runes were marked onto the walls, and something about them seemed to bind Nireztu down...
No matter, these runes are too old to be of any use NOW, thought Nireztu. Through the dark, following the cracks of Negative energy that they gave off. Nireztu felt a more concentrated source of energy further down the winding path... He will find it!
Then, he came across, a huge gaping hole, which blue mist of Negative energy flowed forth from. To Nireztu, it was like paradise. But something STILL called to him... Outside, out in the light.
He found a crack in the wall, and almost by instinct, he lifted his arms and swung them down upon the wall. It smashed open and Nireztu climbed through Ahhh, the sun and light, thought Nireztu. He could now see what his body looked like. His body, was basically like a Shade's, all half invisible and ghostly. Deep black mist emitted from his feet, which hovered above the ground by a few inches. His hands were like steel talons, though he could make out a thumb. Upon his head sat a ghostly crown, like those a king would wear.
The crown pleases me, thought Nireztu. And something called to him... More distant then he and the sea... and heavens... something from the VOID.


Alteir woke with a start.
"Huh..."
The Blood Elf looked about his sun-filled room, nicely polished with smooth round walls that made his room look like a dome... which it was. It was small, but all that he had... that is, until he passed the test.
This test, was going to decide whether he was going to serve in the royal armies or become a vagrant upon the streets. If Alteir didn't pass this test, he would curse himself 'till the day he died.
Wait, the test... Uh oh. It's today.
Alteir looked down at his notescroll, wet with his own slobber, the ink running off it.
He was sure he was doomed. Never before in all his life, had he ever made such a big fluke. All the thousands of mistakes and accidents of his years combined could not match this. And Alteir was a bad-luck magnet.
At least his skills in the ways of the warlock were definitely above average. Or else he would've never have even been considered for the armies' University.
Wait a moment... His sun-filled room? He should be in the University of the Arcane by now already.
It couldn't get any worse then this, thought Alteir.
Alteir looked at the mirror beside his desk that hung over his wash basin. He liked how he looked. Blond hair, blue-green eyes... It fit him, Alteir thought.
He looked out the window of his dome-room, and saw the clocktower.
It definitely can't get worse then this.

"Young boy, the fact that you're two hours late is bad enough. The fact that your term-end project, or research, or whatever it is- is completely ruined and unreadable? Unacceptable..."
Jerrard Cane, the Warlock's Sector head teacher was old, but had lost none of his old zeal. His black-cored eyes stared knives into Alteir, who was close to begging.
"Competely, unacceptable!"
The Head Teacher was shouting at the top of his lungs, and passer-by's looked into the window of the closed door. The stifling hot dome-office wasn't helping.
Out of rage, Jerrard thrust his finger at the windowed door, and blew it open with a basic "Shadowbolt" technique.
"Someone bring the Caretaker! And tell her I need the Expulsion papers! Section C to be exact," shouted Jerrard out of the opening of where the door used to be.
Alteir froze, and his blood turned to ice.
Expulsion was bad enough, but Section C meant expulsion of the Horde society...
"Please, Head Teacher Cane, you can't... at least not Section C... please, one more chance..." Alteir pleaded on bended knee, close to tears. Pride, humility, shame, it all stung.
"You've blown apart one classroom, the nurse is still treating patients from your last 'experiment,' the damned imp was completely demented... and still four more cases, at THIS UNIVERSITY! IT IS COSTING A LOT!"
Jerrard was shaking his head, eyes glinting with anger.
"No. This is the last straw. You're more harm then good. As soon as the papers have been signed, checked, and approved, the next time some member of the Horde sees you, they'll be coming to make money off your head if you come back to Horde territory. Get out! Go to the Head Master's office, now!"

At this point, Alteir was certain that he would be doomed forever...


Alteir stumbled and fell, tripping over his own heel.
His whole body was sore; soon after he had seen the Head Master, he was thrown in a dark and filthy dungeon cell for a day. He wasn't fed or watered at all. During that time, he was whipped every hour, more or less by a few minutes. After that, he was escorted out of the city and thrown into the dirt close to the middle of the night. Ever since then, he was trying to get out of Horde territory.
He was nearing a village.
As he walked along a dirt path and got closer, he saw a sign saying, "Welcome to Fairbreeze village."
Excellent, I'll be able to buy some clothes, food, a room to stay. He didn't think that the message of his banishment would travel fast... Very fast.
It was a moderately large village, with old stone buildings worn by rain and wind. The paint for several structures was starting to peel off, but all in all it seemed a nice, quiet village.
Then, Alteir saw his own face. On a poster. With the word "WANTED" in big, red letters. Below that, a portrait of himself was shown. And below that, was... "500 GOLD, DEAD," in yellow. They were also very big letters.
Alteir felt his face paling, and immediately slipped into an alley. There was a little garbage here and there. A black cat was sleeping silently beside a wall of the alley.
First things first. Something to cover myself up.
All Alteir had was a brown shirt, a leather vest over top of that, and brown cloth pants.
He looked around the walls of the alley, and spotted a small clothing store. He searched for any people in the area, and when he was sure no one was on the dark streets, he rushed over to the store and quietly opened the door. Wind chimes inside in the way of the door signalled his entrance. From within the store, he heard a grunt, and then snores.
The inside of the store was well kept. The room was painted yellow, and the floor didn't creak or make any other noises when he stepped. There was a small ball of light hovering close to the top of the room, that emitted a weak light. At the back, there was a desk. Behind it, a wall that held a corridor to the right. Racks to the sides of this room held clothes of all kinds, including a large, hooded, black travelling cloak.
The cloak was what Alteir was looking for. He ignored all the other clothing, some of which were very well made. He looked at the price at let out sigh of relief. He had just enough coin to buy it.
But he was a banished elf now... he didn't need to actually buy it.
That would be stealing, thought Alteir.
After several minutes of arguing with himself, he decided to take it and leave a note and the coins he owed.
He stepped up to the desk, and noticed some paper, an ink bottle, and a quill. As he reached for them, he suddenly noticed something.
It was awful silent. Something wasn't right. Something, was supposed to be making a sound.
A ball of blue light suddenly shot from the shadows of the corridor behind the desk that probably lead to the storekeeper's room. Alteir pressed himself against a space between two racks and bent over, trying to stay as silent as he could.
"I know who you are. You're the trash that's Wanted by the Horde. I've a poster myself in here you know!" The voice was gruff, and belonged to a man.
"Come out where I can kill you!"
Alteir held his breath. The bar of blue light was actually a super-hot flame, but more often than not it just shot through what it struck, and didn't actually start fires. He peeked under some of the clothes and saw where the fire had struck. There was a hole beside the door, and the edges of it were smoking.
He breathed out slowly and silently, and inhaled more air before holding his breath again.
The ball of light was now very bright, but luckily shadows were covering him.
It was then that Alteir heard the storekeeper walk, heavy steps thumping on the wooden floor. Should Alteir strike, or should he wait? The storekeeper then passed in front of the space that Alteir was hiding in, facing the opposite way though. He definitely knew what he was going to do.
Alteir raised his hand and breathed out his incantation, "Shadowbolt!" He suddenly felt filled of energy; mana, yet drained of it at the same time. His mind directed the energy through his raised hand, and a wavering black and purple ball shot out, blasting the storekeeper from behind.
The storekeeper yelped, "Gah!" A second later, he crumpled to the floor, unconscious. Where the attack had landed, the scarlet cloth of the man's shirt was blackened and smoking. A thin layer of ash surrounded the area around the man, and black "threads" of dark energy rose up and disappeared before touching the ceiling.
I did what I had to do, thought Alteir, as he took the black cloak he had spotted earlier without a second thought.
Alteir silently slipped into the night, and proceeded to head south towards the blighted Ghostlands.

Next page is kind of unnecessary, because it's not like someone is actively reading it. Don't you think this is a little too short to be a page anyways? And why is negative capitalized?



He sure is using a lot of ! marks. It's kind of annoying.




I have a few problems with this. 1) Why would he be writing instead of running? 2) It's cliche. and 3) Why would he write down symbols :P


As for the actual story. It was meh, and I had no idea what was going on. I'm sort of guessing that was the point since it was the introductory chapter, but it was still annoying. The grammar wasn't all so great either, I'm guessing you aren't a natively English speaking person?

Anyway keep writing. You'll get better

Dunno :/. This is based REAL loosely off an idea so it takes awhile to make stuff up on the spot XD.

I can relate.

If you can structure the idea more, then that's when we'll get a good story going. Maybe if you add a semi-second plot.

Aye. Coming up with stuff on the spot is probably the hardest part of writing. Even planning it out doesn't help you that much because there are always little flourishes that you need to add, and without it'll just be a summary of events, and not a real story.

It's a new year, and a new start. I've gotten some ideas, remembered this story, and decided to try and finish it!
This is probably gonna be called thread-necromancy (frowned-down upon probably) but COME ON!
It's a story!

If you're gonna do something bad, at least don't delete it. I'll transfer what I've got so far to a new thread (dunno why I didn't do it before though). - :/

Why make a new thread, this one's just fine. Don't make threads (especially now that you've revived this one) for no reason.

Could a moderator erase the ":Prologue + 1" part in the thread title?

I can't change it. :/

Hey, interesting chapter 2 you've got there. I'm a little concerned for it's title though: Why is it called Banishment when he hasn't really been banished, yet? Or is it from his original class?

Well, I can see that this guy Alteir has... problems. Hahaha!

It looks like Alteir is going to end up a lonely person at this rate. Surely you are going to create someone who cares about him?

Argh! Somebody erase the ":Prologue + 1" part in the thread title, PLEASE!