Letters to Santa By Shadowz123

--------------===WARNING CONTAINS LANGUAGE THAT MAY OFFEND!!===-----------

Letters to Santa
by Shadowz123

(Santa, a bastard of a man, likes to tease kids into getting what they wont get!)

(a little boy sits on Santas Lap)
Boy - I want a...ummm...that uhhh...
Santa - Hurry up will ya, my Elf helpers waiting in my car!
Boy - Really?! wow
Santa - Yes, she said HURRY UP U FAT...
Woman - SANTA!!!
Santa - oops, sorry...do YOU wanna sit on santas lap *winks*
Woman - How dare you!
Boy - I want a Xbox 360
Santa - Ok, now go over there....
Boy - Mummy mummy! im getting a Xbox 360!!
Woman - No way, he will give you coal, the stupid bastard!!
Santa - Ok whos next, hurry up will ya jeez, she is waiting!!
Girl - i want a pony!
Santa - oh boo hoo...next
(girl runs off crying)
Boy 2 - Umm i want a New bike!!
Santa - will a broken Tricycle do?
Boy 2 - NO!!!
Santa - Calm down tere u little shit, no bike for you!
Man - HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO MY SON LIKE THAT!!
Santa - Does it look like i care Mr im so tough, come hit me u stupid asshole!
(man runs up to santa and punches him)
Girl 2 - Leave santa alone!!
Boy 3 - YOUR KILLING HIM!!!
Man - DIE U SON OF A BITCH!!!
Santa - OW! your boys crying!
Man - oh, sorry son!
Boy 2 - Why dad...WHY!!!
Santa - ok, im going to my elf helper...
Elf Helper - Ive been waiting 2 minutes! Ive been naked waiting for you!
Santa - Sorry babe, i got beaten up by some random muscle man
Elf Helper - Again? Wow...you really do suck.
Santa - Can we just do it already?
Elf Helper - Fine.......
(noises of sex and so on.....)
Santa - wow, ur one hardcore puppy, especially when u brang that whip...whats that made of?
Elf Helper - Silicon.
Santa - OH CRAP, man that kills!
Elf Helper - Meh, help.
Santa - Oh shit i gotta get home and reply to all these letters from kids....
(Santa drives home and starts reading letters)

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Dear Santa,

I really really really really really really really really really really
really really really really really really really really really really
really really really really really really really really really really
Want a Blue crayon for my collection!

From Jacob
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Santa - What the fuck?!

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Dear jacob,

No

From Santa.
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Jacob - WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Santa - ok, next letter....

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Dear Santa,

Ive seen your pictures on the net and i think your hot, i sent some pictures
of me...hope you like!

From Beth
XXXXXXXXX
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Santa - WHOAH BABY!! God i love this job!

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Dear Beth,

You are one fine looking lady, but Mrs Clause is being a bitch...
Sorry

From Santa
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Beth - Fine, ill go see Smokey The bear!
(zips up female bear costume)
Santa - Wow im tired, im going to bed....Hope Mrs Caluse is naked im soooooo bored.
Mrs Clause - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!
Santa - Oh brother...
Mrs Clause - i was ringing rudolph he said u went out with your Elf Helper!! WHO IS SHE!!
Santa - i will kill you rudolph, umm she helps me give the lollis out to kids.
Mrs Clause - Oh...i will be watching you mister!!
Santa - Whatever.

TO BE CONTINUED!

I'm sorry, this is just lame.

I'm sorry, this is just wrong!

Lolzers.I like the jacob one.reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally want a blue crayon for my collection.To less reallys i know.

I don't know if you could call that writing. Just random junk.