An Orc Story

10-13-2007, 01:19 AM

Hmm this is my attempt at writing a story. Nothing is to be taken seriously, it's intended to be a comedy.

Quote:

Once apon a time there was a planet. On this planet there was water. Lots and lots of water, and a bit of land too. By now I'm sure you are completely lost in the suspense. Okay, so there were creatures on the bit of land too, a barbaric tribe called the Orcs. Now these weren't the ugly half human half roadkill thingies from Lord of the Rings, these are full blown green people.
You see, they are a raiding tribe and love to piss off the 'Night Elves', the pussy fruit cups in Ashenvale Forest to the north. But the Night Elves had recently elected a new leader by the name of Tor'thyeir'gir'wynnynynynrnrnynor or something gay like that. He was a real tough bitch and sent down hundreds of whores...with bows.
So the orcs lost control of their territory in the Barrens, and one day Thrall, the orcish king, decided that Tor'thyeir'gir'wynnynynynrnrnynor was going to pay for using his battle standards for sex toys and launched a massive scale invasion on Tor'thyeir'whatever's stronghold of Glitterpony.
On his arrival, he was greeted by a messenger from the elves, an elusive man clad in a dark dress, named Sonia. So thrall said to him "We have come to keeeeell your men!"
And Sonia replied, "LULZ U NO TAEK FORTRES" and stabbed Thrall in the heart.
Thankfully, Thrall was always known for his Thorium pocket protector, and the only damage done was to the messenger's knife. And of course the messenger himself when Thrall turned into a wusskebab.
Later that day, Thrall launched his assault on Glitterpony, and within the first hour many of his men had been struck down by druids in CareBear form's lasers.
Thrall decided he needed to make a better plan than the usual run in and rape the women (or in this case the men), so he decided to launch his mighty hammer out of a catapult. The hammer exploded into a giant flash of red light and his men rejoiced when they saw the gates were busted open. The orcs charged in and for hours they battled against the armies of CareBears and archers riding MyLittlePonies and at sundown they had progressed to the gate where the leader (I can't be bothered to type out his name) was living.
Thrall pushed open the gates and saw the leader with an Elven woman, and with a mighty battle cry he charged the elves and slew the leader, but spared his lover.
His wife (who was probably transexual) burst into tears and from her tears a new race of elf was born (come ON!! not another!)... The emo elf.
WAIT WAIT a minute. "Emo elf?!?!" said Thrall. "That's just retarded. What idiot would put that into a story?" And so he thrust his other mighty hammer into my keyboard and therefore I can write no more. The end.

10-13-2007, 07:03 AM	#2
Ignitedstar	I know that this is intended to be funny, but the beginning is introduced in a strange way. Throughout your short story, you only used the slang words in the beginning? That didn't really make sense to me; You should try to stay consistent with your tone of words.

10-13-2007, 05:31 PM	#3
Lux	Although your writing fluency makes reading your parody a pleasure, the story itself strikes me as one that makes far too significant an effort to be funny. Maybe make it longer and use puns and sarcasm as opposed to flat-out obvious humor? Lux